Tuesday, November 18, 2008

i moved in to some place...

whenyoureinbedyouredead.wordpress.com =D =D =D

Saturday, November 1, 2008


In life, there's a time if stagnation and imobilization. You lazed on a specific things, and lay interest on the other. Feeling like a living dead, sometimes overflowing with happiness, sometimes unproductive and useless. And when you realize you are existing in a world of reality, it's hard coming back from where you really are.

From here, this post will be the last from this where I write. Not to be so emo or whatever, but I choose to be like this for a while. Afterall if i'd say I won't write blogs anymore, I knew I would lie and would break promises. Just now i've realized and appreciated the saying; "Life is a rollercoaster!" and I am one hell of it.

My blogroll will stay the same and I, will always be your enthusiastic reader as I always be. I'll just fix myself up as well as some people whom I think I've done wrong.

I love you blog friends! =D

Sunday, September 7, 2008


I got inspired by the event we've held last sunday night. It is our regular fellowship with my fellow youths and friends(called morethantwo or >2) about God and our spirituality but in a different approach. It was truly amazing! Praise God!

And uhmm... yes I'm here again. I had full ideas, emotions, rants, or whatsoever, so now I am transferring it to my blog. Low memory na kasi eh! LOL

-Photo is done by good friend Jars and is a property of >2.

Great minds are here:
  • Jars is here and also here
  • Visit our morethantwo fellowship >2
  • Ayie is here

I'll just pretend I am Legolas. I'm gonna shoot my arrows of thoughts in random. And yes! I am that guy in the left. LOL

I am back to the circulation. I've experience downtimes and the breeze of laziness. I decided to drop my PE class but they won't allow me since it was half way the semester. Good thing, some influential man in our school helped me. He'll set an arrangement to my PE prof for me to be able to pass it as long as I am concern with he subject. And surely I did grab the opportunity. And after series of school absences, I reap what I saw. Low midterm grades. But as I talked to some of my professors, I promise to get back and do what i should do. And as they see it, they are affirming that they're happy seeing me at my best again. Telling me I should keep it up!

We're doing good. Though my previous post is some kinda hateful post, I'm sorry. I sometimes blog the time after my father would scold me LOL. And that was out of emotions. Somehow it gives me the relief. But after a little time, I'm ok. It's just all part of growing up! I LOVE MY FAMILY!!

Still zero. I am now enjoying being single but being loved, by my friends. Oooh ok I'll be honest, I think I am presently infatuated. This is for me, different from having a crush. For me a "crush" is something not serious. I can even tell a girl(who I crush!! LOL for the term), I love her but not meaning it. It's just that easy. Uhmmm... This is the feeling close to love but I personally dun want it to happen. She's a good friend of mine and if loving her means losing her in the next months or years, I don't dare taking risks. This will do. I'll just let her be happy and be there if she needed someone to talk to. Naks! Emo! XD Besides, the reason of my previous breakup is that I don't want to hurt feelings anymore because I'm not good at relationships(romance, love).

I have lots of friends. Count the stars, my friends are no 1% of those LOL. So much blessed to have them. They're my treasures, my wealth. If only I could feature you here 1 by 1, I already did. And those that I am missing so much(Faye Nathanielle De Guzman! special mention wahahahaha). From all K.I., >2 geeks, and the brilliant execomm, my self-claim little sister Miles(Muwah!), the superb finance head Nanah! Naks kasali!! Basta sa lahat ng nakikita kong tao sa morga! HAHAHA Uhmmm...

Uhmm... Sad because some of my classmates decided to withdraw all their subjects for an unknown reason. One of them whose for me, the fairest among them all. She's one reason I go to school. LOL Well.. It's their choice.

My relationship to God is better since I got intact with my church again. And those friends may not knew it, but they inspired me a lot. And those church workers I looked unto. God has touched me. But I don't want to stop yet! I'm still hungry for more. I want to gobble more, wallow more. Give me more of Jesus!! Attend our fellowship and you'll see what I am talking about. :D

I think this is all for now. I'm starving! Godbless you :D

Friday, September 5, 2008

If only!

If only you weren't my father, I wish all the damn for you!!!

(my rants will I post the next time) GRRRRRR!!!

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

RANDOM is a mundane encounter

He is mighty to save!

My archives shows that I blog once a month. Then I call myself a blogger?? Disgrace! Oh well... Lately, most things happened in a fulfilling, satisfying,, and tremendous way. It's been a long time since I got active again on going to my home church. After some series of struggles, pain, disappointments, and hate, I am back to the square one where my soul truly belongs, to my savior Jesus Christ(don't worry, I'm still jiMboY the way I am. LOL). After a spiritual/emotional/physical/mental/social hiatus, I had a chance to talk to myself. I feel lonely, without purpose, I'm just living my life to be a part of the quantitative purpose of mankind.

Some christian band concerts were held. Hillsong, Passion, Sonicflood, and being at some of the those concerts was truly an amazing feeling. Each song will struck me as if God's saying; "Here's a smash that you'll surely ask for more!" and yes, God is faithful. He redeemed me of my heart's coldness ang anguish. Also a factor are those friends. Their burning heart and passion was infathomable that made me thinking, "We're not like this before. It is now huge and titanic youth foundation!" If you people I am talking about happen to read this, I thank God for each of you! So much blessed to have you as my friends. And Once again, I commit myself to God. My talent(a frustrated musician), my humors, my tiny sense of leadership, my not-so-popular journal, and all I have. NOW I SURRENDER!!!

rain, rain, go away!

It started again. I'm experiencing. I had this before but never did expect to feel this way again.

I'm tired of school! I lazed on it..

This is why I hop courses one to another and another and my college life is now in chaos. My mind changes like a 37 year old pre-menstrual woman and I cannot focus on a certain field or committment for a long period of time. If this is some serious psychological problem, then I admit I had it!


Eight days of texting infinity with a dime of worth. I lost my globe sim card and with that, I bought a TM one that I thought was cheaper and can now text my friends that are globe users. And it surely did meet my expectations. Some friends would poke fun at me that I was categorized to those hard working people(which I am not) because the network targets local market vendors, construction workers, jeepney drivers, etc. Well in fact I remember when I was 2 or 3 years of age, I remember my grandfather whose a jeepney driver back in Quezon, would sit me beside him in the driver's seat of his jeepney allowing me to hand him those fares from the passengers with my chubby little hands. Oooh.. so much to reminisce. I've got a lot of stories to tell so I am keeping every topic short as possible but I find it hard LOL. Ooops.. I almost finish this section without the thought of it. I had unlimited texting for 8 days which is supposedly just only 2. LOL. ang babaw!

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

My wR!t!n6 $ucKs @s T!me g0E$ by!

Now that you're gone, is only the time I've realized that I really really need you in my life. When I move in another place, I left you there waiting. Abandoned, just like a used paper towel. Now that you're not in me, I suffer. No one will ever help me do my assignments, No one will entertain my lonely nights, I feel like nothing else without you. There's no one I'll turn to when I have problems to confess. My fingers are stiff because there's no more you that I can play my fingers with. No more you, No more.. None!

Before I had you always in me. But now you are a luxury. Till then I realized how important you are in my life. I'm really really tired of this, please come back!


Monday, July 14, 2008

get wan hul shit!

A gossip of criticism from professors that is about me has reached my awareness. And with that, It gives me the urge to write things up. After all, it's been a month since I last blog. Really, as much as I wanted to blog my thoughts, every time I face my PC, laziness always hit me real hard. So I always end up with nothing. But after I heard a gossip about me from a classmate who refused to tell whoever professor it is(but doesn't really matter whoever it is. I just only want to know), I rush on things on how will I blog it given the fact that I am in school and class is ongoing. I got a pen, and draw one yellow paper and you probably know what comes next, I did the orthodox style of blogging which means I literally am writing my thoughts in a yellow paper. Surprisingly, I am starting to like it this way. (It is my NSTP class while I am writing this, and I should pretend that I copy notes and not blogging XD)

A while ago as I chat with a bully classmate/seatmate, he threw some questions regarding some of my previous doings and I think he's just curious about some things about me. I comply with his questions by sharing something that after I've studied two and a half years of college in an activist lurking university at manila, here I am, a demoted freshman in a catholic college as where we are(which I think is another explanation or another blog post). Another classmate happened to listen in our conversation. He commented, "Ah kaya pala."(His curiosity about "How could you simply answer academical questions without us seeing you study or reviewing?" finally ends.) Then said, "Pero alam mo Lester(my name in my birth certificate), may nagsabi nga na isang prof, matalino ka daw kaya lang ano..." Whatever "ano" it is, I did get the point and it surely means negative.

At one point, I am bothered. I know I am used hearing such words and even worse, maybe it's just that it had been a long time since I hear such words again. In the previous college I'm into, I learned to to fear professors, not to be afraid to commit mistakes and errors, don't mind failing. Though I fail some subjects, I passed most of them and surely have learned a lot.

"Matalino kaya lang ano.."

At present, I go to class late but I don't intend to. I seldom submit assignments(I laze on it), and would just secretly walk out of the classroom if not in the mood. But also, in class, you'll see me reciting and outnumbering others by words being recited and thoughts being shared. I stand out in class while everyone else seems lifeless. I get higher grades than any of them. My essays and narrations are very much applauded(while it was just a piece of crap for me). With all of these I think is where the criticism rooted.

I'm an evil trapped in an angels figure nor an angel pretending to be evil or whatever thing it is. I've got pair of wings and a halo but in me hides a pair of horns and an ugly tail. Always misconceived. I can be intelligent but I prefer not to be one. I apologize for disappointing people but I live a life that is me. I won't follow that SVO (Subject Verb Oriented -not sure about the last word) format they thought us when putting titles in my journals(I am the boss in my own blog LOL). Even the most non-sense title I'll insist! As long as I am happy with it.

I guess rules complete my existence. If there are no rules, there would be no individuals where I am categorized. And I am very sure you are too! XD

Monday, June 9, 2008

A shot of repellent please?

"An idiot, an imbecile who lacks sanity and attention. A person whose in desperate need of something unattainable. Who thinks his/her life is worthless and is prisoned by his/her present life experiences. A hopeless retard!"

That's how I looked into those people who commit suicide. They suck! Life is worth living and enjoying. To enjoy things on earth is one reason why we live. To be happy! For myself, for my family and friends, for others. And so as I look into those people who wasted their life and to some who attempted ending theirs, It's not sympathy nor pity I feel for them, anger and hatred it is. I know people whom I personally knew and some are actually a not so close friends who committed suicide. One I knew is a person having some girlfriend problems and out of his stupidity, he jumped off a two-storey high school building(he only suffered from an ankle pain or dislocation or whatever though). Also a friend of mine, (I think it's too confidential for us to know the reason) intentionally drank a bottle of an insect repellent. Another is my eldest sister's classmate during high school, drank a bottle of bleach(the one used in laundry i think). Good thing all of them are crazy enough not to be accepted in heaver nor hell(You three!!! If you've read this which I'm sure you'll not because even a short paragraph would laze you to read, stop whining and let's just learn from your heroic doings XD). I laugh every time I and some friends discuss about it. And hey!! This is life that God gave to us. It's a privilege, a gift, an opportunity to be a part of this whole thing called mankind.

But things changes. Things happen and sometimes it changes the way we think, our point of views, our philosophies, the way we see life. In a man's voyage of life, there are times when the wind favors us and we just have to set our sail to our planned destination. There are also times of heavy storms and gigantic waves, hurricanes, and whirlpools, and sometimes sea-monsters (just exaggerating, I am picturing the Pirates of the Carribean era). Personally, this part of life I am now living is a heavy storm. Of course, I being the captain, and if related to my personality, I would do what is necessary to do and if there's nothing more of a man's control, I'll just sit calmly and wait for the storm to stop. Die if I were to die, lucky if gotten alive.

Career, Relationships, Friends and Families, Future, Responsibilities, etc. Everyone wish for a good one. But as I said, The wind is not always at your side. Enumerating problems would not be a good idea since I'm not begging for sympathy. With all that was happening to me right now, Oftentimes I feel like giving up. And yah! The one's I called idiot and imbecile who lacks attention and sanity could also be me. Honestly, a .0012%(approximately haha!) of me thinks ending my life would clear things out. In a bus ride, I am thinking of the possibilities of what if's. What if this bus loses it's breaks and would fall off an abyss? In walking at streets, What if someone stab me directly to my vital organs and died immediately?? All that and more I am thinking of. And later on would tell myself, It's just my family and some friends who'll be there at my funeral. It'll only took them days, or weeks, or a month of mourning. And after that, it's all good! things would go back to normal. My problems would be cleared out. And less problem and headache i'll be giving them when I'm not around. But then of course there's now way I'll do that. It is an unforgivable sin to God. Yup! Problems are all solved, but what's next after it? Spending eternity with that evil horny guy(LOL) and would gargle mayonnaise in hell?? Eerrrrr! I don't want even a glimpse of hell!!! If suicide would be approved by human law, I think, I'd still say no. I don't want to bathe with my own blood nor having a rope marks in my neck in my funeral. It's just things such as those come in our mind. Good thing I was raised by a pastor(yes I am a pastor's kid! often misconceived) and a good man in the person of my father.

Huh!! This is just a test of a true believer. Surpassing this could be a breakthrough of something more out of me. No one would help me but myself. And also with God being always there. It's a great feeling there's One whom I can turn into. As Timone & Pumba's philosophy says, "It means no worries, for the rest of your days.. It's a problem free.. Philosophy.. Hakkuna Matata!" LOL

Ooooh well.. As I am writing this blog right now, I regret being a blogger. I regret promoting this site to those friends. I regretted introducing even my nickname as "jiMboy". I should have stick with what I always do. And that is to keep myself private and mysterious as I could be. And the new theme is for the new beginning I think. No more Mr. Teen idol wannabe. What you see is what you'll get. I think most bloggers later on regret being one. But once you started it, There's no coming back especially when your heart is on narrations and writings. For a period of time, you'll fade. This is my first post since last month I think, and with that month of hiatus, my notes are filled with stories and experiences waiting for me to write them.

Friday, May 16, 2008

scold-jah' boy

Joggling of thoughts that best soothes my present mind state, I play poker on my browser. It's been a long time since my last post and now is the perfect time to make a new one but my mind hardly gives me a thing to write. Until my dad called me.

Itay: "Nakita mu ba 'yung telepono?(wireless one)

jiMboy: "Wala po ba sa baba?" (I'm upstairs playing poker)
(I searched for it and found it at my sister's place)

jiMboy: "Pa, Eto po o."
(hand it to him.)

(The phone has no charge. And surely can't receive outgoing calls)

Itay: "Sa susunod pag ginamit nyo telepono ibaba nyo rin agad ha! Hindi nyo inaayos eh!"

jiMboy: ...

Yes. It is a summary of me in this family. I know myself of being naughty, pilyo, makulit, and all that are associated with those words, during my childhood. When I was a child, when I knew I did something wrong or unpleasant, I shook to nervousness that my dad will knew what I did. And as I could expect, I'm being scolded to death. The above situation, I took words from my dad that are not supposed to be all mine. I rarely use the phone. In twenty phone calls received, only one is mine. It is my sisters who used the phone more often. But then, no big deal. I got used to it.

Last night, I came home tired from work plus the heavy traffic and the ignored rain in my clothes. I enter our house. A little talk. My dad noticed the CPU of our desktop computer. In our house where it is usually placed, is a poor ventilated area so it ended up automatically turning off(maybe because of overheating). I did open the cpu cover so it could not store heat inside and an electric fan could keep it cool. Unfortunately, I misplaced the screws somewhere.

Itay: "Ba't ba ganyan 'yung CPU nyan?"

jiMboy: "Tinanggal ko po Pa eh, namamtay po kasi dahil umiinit."

Itay: "Tutukan mo lang ng elektrik fan yan!"

jiMboy: "Kahit may electric fan po namamatay pag nakasara eh"
(I, and my sisters use it. While he uses his laptop so I know it's problem!)

Itay: "Hindi! Tutukan mo lang ng electric fan yan!"
(He never let his pride fades and would never loose a conversation with only his son.)

jiMboy: ... (I'm tired and hungry from work. I am conversing while eating my dinner. And somehow Ignores what he is saying)

Itay: "Nasan na 'yung mga turnilyo?"

jiMboy: "Nasa taas ku lang po 'yun nilagay eh kaya lang d ku na po makita dun sa
pinaglagyan ko." (There it goes!)

Itay: "Binuksan-buksan nyo yan tapos ganyan lang gagawin nyo! Nag-loan pa ko sa HSBC para lang makuha yan. Hanggang ngayon binabayaran ko yan! Tapos binababoy nyo lang!"

Itay: (mumbles...)

jiMboy: ...

I grew up this way. I am the only boy among his three children. He scolds in general but the words are only for me. I know I'm not that perfect son. Not a consistent honor student in my elementary and high school days, unlike my siblings. I fail several units in my present college state. My eldest sister is now a certified public accountant and works at a highly reputed company. The younger is consistently studying.

Being the only male son, I was the favorite. Favorite in terms of chores, doing favors, going to a nearest store to buy something, would ask to wash the dishes, would do the family's laundry
(not joking!), go there, do that, and my great sisters sitting in comfity watching television. I did all things without a word because if not, I'll took a sermon and I'm sick of it. I remember sometimes he told me to buy 10 ventolin(painkillers of asthmatic people), I bought 10, and hand it him and he said "Bakit 10 lang?? di ba sabi ko 15?? Sa susunod iisipin ng mabuti 'yung ginagawa ha?" Shoot!! I never said a word. I know he's always right. He never loses a conversation with me. My dad just calling my name jiMboOoOoOh!! makes my heart pulsate fast thinking if I've done something wrong without my knowledge. If it is not about something I did, it is a favor, a cumpolsary favor I dare not to disobey.

I get used to it, I think it made me a patient, happy person. In school, I don't bother being scold by a professor. My dad trained me of that LOL. I don't take what they are trying to put in my mind and I guess that's the reason I failed a lot. In the saddest moments with my friends, I'm the one whose smiling. I don't want to see loneliness in people's faces so I do something to cheer those frowns. I choose sunny days than romantic nights. You can't see me cry but would always laugh and smile. Kaya siguru kumapal ang muka ko ng ganito. Wahahahhaha XD

I love my dad. He did everything just for us to become like this. There's no perfect dad but there's a perfect heart in them caring for us. I don't judge my dad since I know It was more of me than of him being the wrong. I am a black sheep of my family but then, I am being loved and cared. Actually, this coming school year, I was suppose to graduate. But I am so dedicated to studying(means: I enjoyed too much in life XD), I'll still study more than what it supposed to be. I'm working hopefully to fully support myself. It's hard showing up to my dad with what I've done. His financial responsibility to me was supposedly finish. But he's there still supporting me. Mother's day had just passed but I don't know. It is not supposed to be a father's appreciation entry. But here I go. panindigan ku na =D

Tuesday, May 13, 2008


Been very tired from work. I got into a situation that I cannot escape. I'm only 19. A 3rd college-course taker and a bum for this past semester. Due to boredom of past sem without school, and as a normal teenager of this era, Internet and my computer inhabits me. Learning many things. And for that, I became a video editor(someone offered and I with a little knowledge, stupidly agree). Traveling from Novaliches to Sucat, Paranaque daily. It was a dumb decision to make. It's tiring. The work I'm doing is a professional matter which not qualifies me. But somehow I can comply with it. It's like an elementary student doing college algebra!

It really pissed me, my blogging time is only making comments for others and none for posting an entry. Grrr! Our Summer Camp is near!(it's still summer even though it rains) and I don't want to be left behind because of my responsibilities! Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!!!!! XD

Friday, May 9, 2008


Last night, going home from my head-aching work, The usual thing, (from the MRT) I rode the FX from North Ave, to Novaliches-Bayan. There I sat in the middle seat in the extreme right where you most get annoyed by unloading passengers(fortunately were in the same unloading place). Rush hour it was. People are tired, pale, rushing home to take their rest is all in everyone's mind. In my left is a girl. She wears white, with her bag, and holds a black jacket maybe to keep her warm in the air-conditioned office. The FX was easily filled by people and we set off immediately. And then I feel her head leaning on my shoulders. Little by little I can feel the weight of her head in me. Because of exhaustion, she easily fells asleep and unconscious.

As the driver brakes, her head slips from my shoulders gaining her consciousness but only for a little while and gets back to sleeping state. At first, I look at it as somehow disturbing knowing that we don't have an idea about each other. But then, what if I'm in her position?? I also did that sometimes when I'm all used up and I can't help but fell unconscious at public places. So I give her my shoulders for her to feel a little comfort. Thinking that simple thing wouldn't hurt but would help. I suffered from a hard cough and I don't want to wake her because of that. Even breathing limits me from moving. I know that she's half-conscious(one-fourth i guess =D) that she knows she's leaning on me. All through out the travel I've seen a pretty girl's wackiest side. Turning her head as if she was possessed, head-banging because of the driver's unawared brake attempts, poise is somewhere far from that certain situation. At first, she only leans her head at me, but as we travel far, her head leans facing me shoulder. She could wet my shirt if she's wet dreaming or something. Me too was totally used-up of work and I worry if I still did smell nice but she's not reacting then maybe I'm not. I've seen her every movement peripherally but not directly since it was dark and looking at her face directly was I think not an appropriate manner. But that doesn't a problem because I got a solution to that since I'm doing that often. My mobile phone, when keypad-locked turns off the lights as if it was a dark mirror. So a little angle would see her face without others idea. She's angelic and cute, but age is predictable. She's around 25-26 years of age(the way she dresses) which lessen my admiration(tanda na nya! haha). It is now time to depart ways. I was the one who gets out the FX and that was the only time she's truly awaken. Knowing she might stumble because of a quick response to her consciousness, I looked after her and she gains her balance and immediately leaves.

Disappointed I was, she walks the route I was into. So I was walking behind her but not intended. There I was expecting a little appreciation. Even an eye-contact could tell me her regards. But as as she walks into a commercial place, light strikes her face and her whole being leaving me so disappointed and I said to myself: "pambihirang buhay ar'e u'oh!"

In my head, I saw Jay Contreras as if he was my little angel conscience singing "ChicksiloOoOoOog... babaeng may itlog!!"

Wednesday, May 7, 2008


I'm struggling on what layout should I use. Kind of annoying. Before it was a plain black default blogger layout but people thinks of it as an emo-authored work(which is quite not). I wonder why color black triggers sad emotions, death, fear, evil, or any negative things in the minds of many. But black also denotes strength, power, mystery, prestige, elegance, and authority.

"I use black, black is good! ... my name is WEYN!"

as being said in a shampoo advertisement.

Changing my layout, I thought of things that suits my immature personality. Like being a cartoon freak! My all time favorite was the classic tome&jerry. So I searched for pictures of them and even searched for layouts. I laze searching for it so I think I'll portray the manly side of me. Talking about manly, poker comes first in my mind haha!(immature still!) I'm a poker freak(who stays up all night playing poker at browsers) who enjoys playing poker at it's fullest hahaha! Grabbing some playing card pictures, It is now a white(second favorite color next to black) poker theme blog. But my mind changes like a craving pregnant mom. And yup! I've changed it again and again.. I ended up restoring my old template which is black. But I added a picture of patrick star because I always see myself on his shoe(and a little color i guess!). Well.. I don't mind others calling it emo. Because truly this is not. Nothing against those people but honestly, I myself is bored reading emotional griefs or "the-world-hate-me" articles. But there are those creative bloggers who can deliver it the interesting way. So there.. I ended up being immature haha! but who cares?? this is what I am! XD Nothing more to say.

Sunday, May 4, 2008


Goodbye fluffy thick hair! This is how I do look like right now. I cut my hair. This is the 3rd time in my 19 years of living to cut my hair this short. Every semi-bald haircut has it's own story and to share things out, here it goes..

The first time I cut my hair like this is in my elementary days, grade5 to be exact, where I suggested within my classmates to have the same haircut as mine(because I think it would be cool, and later, other schoolmates did the same). Second is I think last year. Out of curiosity and a seek for change and uniqueness, I dye my hair yellow. I was like Ely Buendia of the "pupils" with my hair in my lower back of my head yellow. It lasted for I think 2 or 3 days and after that, comments and critics of mine scattered. For those friends who has an adventurous thinking and personality, they say "ayos yan pre! astig!". Yes! I know it would be because that's how I want it to be. But for those not so young people, church goers, and my dad, "Anu ba yang ginawa mo sa sarili mo? Alam mu ba kung anu sinasabi ng mga tao jan sa buhok mo? nakakhiya!" leaving me no choice, I did the semi-kalbo! Ho ho ho! and the third time is about couple of days passed.

All those stories have one thing in common an that is I ended up being scolded by my dad. My Dad and my Mom(now that she's here with us from abroad), strongly disagree with me, doing such thing dyeing or cutting my hair a quarter of an inch. For them, having that hair is an invitation towards trouble, an uncivilized look, a foolish looking person, blah blah blah! Having my hair before is seemed good. I can look formal, casual, rugged nasty boy, a boy who doesn't took bath, and the craziest I can. The thing that made me do this hairstyle again is because one day I took a bath and found a scissor in the bathroom mirror. Well.. unlike other men, I don't really care much for my hair so having the scissors, with no hesitations, I tried to cut some hair. At the sides, at the back and anywhere I feel like cutting hoping I'll came up with a look that is something new!

Being a son of a pastor or a church worker includes a user manual on how things should be done. A responsibility which you have no choice but to follow. Every move we make, we should consider what would be its impact towards our parents, or what will others say against the family. I'm not much of a disobeyer and breaks rules often but I do things which I think soothes me and feeds my curiosity knowing that I don't stepped on others and would not disrespect anyone, and if there would be someone gets hurt, that would only be me.

Going back with the hair, I was fascinated by people who had sideburns(patilya). The hairline that connects from the sideburns to the mustache and the beard(where whiskers grow). I admire Fernando Poe Jr., Joseph Estrada, Hugh Jackman, Elvis Presley, and others for that reason. I always wanted that but no matter how I grow my sideburns, it stays at its hairline limit above the ears. I literally cut my own hair and that was one I thing I set goals for. But then, I failed again. With that, I ended up at the barber shop. I went in a local shop where those goon-like looking men who sticks cigarette time by time are the ones whose in charge of the haircut. I don't bother going at salons since I wanted a hair that can be done with an effort of a little. But again, seeking for uniquity and self-identity, I said to the barber, leave some hair at my lower back. Some kind of a pigtail. And there I have it. I have pig tails haha! but no hours passed my housekeeper disliked it. Being obedient to my housekeeper, again I cut it myself. =D

With a hair like this, I can only portray either a good, innocent person, or a rude one. I choose to be rude haha! and to add the rude look, I did some cut at my left eyebrow as if I got it from a fight. And here I am. It's fun playing with other people's reactions the way I act. It's makes me think that I am more intellectually dominant than them(which I think haha!) that I have more to show than of them.

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

the first employment..

I didn't expect things like this. My friend whose working in an office contacted me and asking if I wanted to work. To be her assistant. Of course I really have to think about it. Considering that I am not yet graduated, no working experience, etc. I also doubt myself if I am capable of the work that will be given to me. She asked me if I am familiar with Windows Movie Maker(WMM) then I said yes! I've done some projects doing WMM. Then she said, "then good! text mo ko kung sure ka na.." And no hours passed until I accepted the offer. No requirements needed, no interviews, no practical examinations, just all verbal agreement. It made me decide faster knowing that it is summer, no classes and I have nothing to do at home. Besides, the verbal contract will took only 2 to 3 weeks depending on how fast will I work. Being excited about it, I ask people who are involved with the same school(school is where the work is), ask them where's the office and how to get there and fortunately, people are glad to help. I accepted it for me to gain experience and least priority would be the salary(plastik! haha!).

The day came that I should report at the office. I woke up very early about 4:30am(not used to waking up early! XD) I left the house 5:15am.. I rode bus and approaching edsa was a really devastating, rude, ugly traffic!!! the school is at Sucat, Paranaque. real far from home. And I came 2 hours late! haha! good thing one of my boss is my friend. And people are not that strict about time(maybe because it's summer.. school is not hectic). There they set-up the computer I'll be using. Yay! I have my own place at the office, with a company computer assigned to me. Well.. I am oriented but not like the strict office, it is an informal one. Were like friends in there. There's no pressures but should know your work. I being there, was supposed to edit the student's videos. It is a Christian music school. My work will be editing and furnishing the recitals videos of the students. Hearing those violins, drums, voice, piano, some are good, some are not yet good. But it's good seeing some potential musicians trained to serve God in the future. I play some instrument like Guitar, Drums, Viola, a little Piano, I know how to play but not good at it and hopefully I'll be like those kids someday. In my work assignment, at first it took me about thirty minutes to finish one project. But as I spend more time doing it, It's pretty easy getting the knack of it. And as I get the right hook and stroke, I could say even a thirteen year old could do what I am doing. And I got the chance of seeing the school. The field, laboratories, rooms, offices, and some familiar people are in there. Mostly are people who knew my dad(it's because we're once in a same denomination) and that gave me an advantage. Yup! it's a new thing to me. The surroundings, environment, of being an office man. But the work seems to be familiar because in my house, I spend lots of time facing the computer so it would be easy.

I truly enjoy working. When I work, commuting to office, etc., I feel the sense of independency in me. I feel like I am a grown man who knows everything in life. I decide where to ride going in there, I travel alone thinking of random things, blogging in my mind(out of nowhere, i crave for dictionary to find word meanings and definitions), and I do things in the office not only because I wanted to, but a responsibility. In home, where I do some computer stuffs, when i get lazy, I momentarily forget what I am doing and do other things instead. But in the office, there's when I get lazy doing things repeatedly(I guess most office works are like that), I remind myself, "this is not a non-sense stuff you do at home to kill boredom.. it is your job!" And from there I get pumped-up continuing work. It just happens that teacher beng and teacher monica(my bosses!) was playing browser games and I can't help watching and join them playing haha! So during little breaks, you'll see me playing diner dash!haha!

Today is the Labor day! tomorrow is my third day of my three weeks of work, I'm lucky to have experience a holiday.haha! Right now Maybe I should use this day to rest because I got colds and coughs. I got it when being exposed to heavy pollution(because of commuting). I remember at the office working with an uncontrollable flow of uhog in my nose. I've got a lot of plans to do today so I think I should take a little rest and continue my routine later....


Lately I was acting weird. Always being in a state where my mind is somewhere far from where it supposed to be. Mind-boggling! Yes it is somehow disturbing to be like this. I've been blogging for 2 or 3 weeks and I developed a habit where I blog within my mind. I don't know how or why but I'm experiencing addiction within blogging and writing. The urge to write simple and common things and events in a way it will be worth the effort to write and to be read. Last night, going home from work(sounded like I am a professional haha!), the usual thing, I rode MRT, FX, and jeepney. A jeepney ride going to baclaran, a walk to the MRT station, different people, different situations, random happenings, are there. Which gives me the excitement to write and can't wait to go home turn on the pc then do my thing. In the MRT, my route is from Taft to North Ave. Both station ends the MRT line which I ended up staying at the train sit for quite long time. And I'm there, long time of staring at peoples faces, seeing malls and buildings we passed through. I blog within my mind, I compose words and sentences on how will I narrate things I wanted to. Starting on the first sentences, some event details, climaxes, and how will I end. I'm tripping on words and enjoys mouth flowering words(but im not good at it!). I just only have this memory problem where I easily forget things and will remember it later. It is second from forgetting dreams and nightmares. As much as I wanted to get a pen and a paper in my bag to write some notes about my thoughts, the situation won't allow me since MRT at rush hours would always be crowded. Good thing I always have my cellphone with me in my pocket. I manage to record my thoughts in it even a simple words that would remind me of what I am thinking. And to share some notes I've wrote, "Baclaran, baho, mrt, vendors, singet, baliktad, pa ganun! Kamuning, martin! Ale tulak". If I am to read someone's phone with a note something like that, I would say it is a non-sense haha! Being in a "mind-blogging" state is something like someone only exist physically being in a certain place moving or not, and lacks presence, because the mind is somewhere making girly diary(just my stupid meaning XD). It really took me that I even inserted the metallic card in the MRT entrance the other side causing the machine not to accept it and I ended up being thought by others how to do the right way which I actually knew.

Before, I was a closed book where I can only count in my right hand fingers the people who know me by heart(that includes God and some special persons). If people would claim that they knew me and my humanity, I tell you, you've just seen a part of me. Being always a humorous person that cracks jokes, being an ice breaker, and sometimes the naughty one, people would know me as a happy go lucky person and an optimist who sees life with overwhelming happiness. But then, I discovered blogging and with those writers and blogs I've read, I got inspired and told myself "these people are great!" with an amazing blogs and articles that are created by youth just like me. And I said to myself "I have also thoughts like this and like that.. I can also make one!" It is just doing essays and free-hand writing(which I enjoy) during my high school days. And there it goes.. I am now a blogger. For now I have about 53 or 54 profile views(mostly my log-in views haha!). And those readers, who are majority are my friends, would somehow catch a glimpse of my whole being. By blogging, I am now opening a museum of my inside self. Letting others see what am I really. But what you see or what you read will stay here. I am the same me. Makulet, pilyo, sira ulo, loko-loko, komedyante. People know me that way and I enjoy portraying my self that way. I am not hindering anyone to read(even my siblings who secretly read this! anak ng! XD). I have my own thoughts, I write them not to please anyone. It's really this mind-blogging thing that annoys me. Maybe I'll start learning on how to act the normal way even blogging in my mind................

Monday, April 28, 2008

I R teacher

Finally! The Daily Vacation Bible School (DVBS) is over. Phew! I got so much in mind to put into my blog, I almost pre-concluded the things that will happen to the DVBS graduation. Good thing I fell asleep that night, I don't have the chance to post it and I can put up all those things happened more than I expected.

I, became a teacher for a week. And it was fun. Teaching those cute little preschoolers and toddlers. I enjoyed being with them, not to mention, I really really love kids. Witnessing the childhood of our future generation.

Yes it was real fun! You've teach them how to pray, tell stories, activities, connect the dots, clay, posting, stickers, crayon works, songs and actions and a lot more. It's a challenging thing to think of your part as a teacher on how you'll mold and leave a mark on those kids memories. As I first met my students, I was expecting children aging 4-6 years old who are studying so I can do a day-care-like teaching format. And they were there. I was surprised that most of them are like 2-3 years old and the rest are 3-6, and we have 8 year old preschool! I told myself this is going to be a difficult one.

Meet the students...

I have like 18 students but I want you to meet these kids who caught my attention, and somehow special to me.

Meet drew! One of my cutest and my favorite students. She's one real cute girl I'll never forget. She never go at least 3 meters away from her lola and was very shy. She dances and plays when we're not looking. And I never let the day passed without her giving me a sweet kiss at my left cheek.

And here's Patty. This sweet little girl has the wit and the charm for others to like her. She tells story(anything just to say something), asks me to go somewhere, wants me to sit in front of her, and anything just for her to get your attention and will hug you unexpectedly. (Yes I looked wasted!! those kids really drained me out!)

Lui.. This kid really amazed me! He's artworks are good. He already knows what he's doing. Adventurous and creative he is. There was an activity where we give them clay to make any figure they want, and out of all of their works(including some mommies that misses their childhood who makes the activity for their kids), some did circles, faces, and stuffs a 5 year old will make, but the one he created was I think a grasshopper or an ant I think. It's a detailed one that you won't expect from a boy like him. Though, It's really hard getting his attention and most of the time you see him running and running.

Here's Pia(left) and Aiyah(right).. they're cousins so you often see them together. Very smart and playful, you see it by their picture pia doing the peace sign! as if they already know a lot and it's funny that kids nowadays are thought(maybe their instincts haha!) on how to project when facing cameras.

Trixie! A wacky face she's portraying in this picture. This cute girl oftentimes speak the "K-language". "Kuya jimbo anu ba kakawin natin ngaun?" replaces G with letter K so it goes something like that. And that first picture is me drawn by her. cute!
At the left was cheska together with her cousin patty, lui, and me. I was amazed at Cheska's eagerness to join the DVBS even though she has this mumps still she goes. And yes I knew I can also have it, but then I don't mind it as long as these kids should enjoy the time being my students.

My most Outstanding student Ren-Ren. Good at artworks and listens to every story I share to them. He even helped us teachers by encouraging his classmate to behave when they have to. Sometimes maharot but It's normal and knows when to stop.

Carhl! The cutest, but the pinakamakulit of them all. He goes anywhere and hides anywhere. It's hard for him to stay in a certain place. That's why we have to approach him in a playful way. We always play "the superman" where I toss him upwards and catch. He gives me most of my headache and joy when he, calls my name "kuya jimbo!!"

The last but not the least.. Centie! First look and somehow you'll notice somethings wrong with him. My class should have the age of 6yrs old and below but Centie, he is already 8 year old. Yup! but his mental capability was close to 3 or 4 years old. He can't speak clearly, he don't know how to read or write, even connecting the dots is a hard thing for him to do. That's why I always give him extra attention. He may not be that normal but I see a playful child in him and a child that also needs attention.

oooooh.. it's really hard teaching those kids but after all those hard work is a fulfillment seeing them graduated with those ribbons hanging in their shirts and a smile on their face. Some, are asking when will be the next DVBS?? maybe they want more! (5 days is enough!!! XD) I asked some if they enjoyed the whole week.. and they replied yes! patty said to me.. "sana kuya jimbo ikaw nalang ulit teacher namin" and that gave me a pinch to my heart. Makes me think that I've done something good.

Well... It's a good thing I didn't experience maghugas ng pwet ng bata! they say It's a voucher of being a true preschool teacher. If that's so, I'm off being a teacher! haha! just kidding =D I'm lucky to be only like a basahan where my shirt gets all their sipon, laway, pawis, and any unnecessary thing. But It's all part of it! .......................

Friday, April 25, 2008

Welcome to manhood

Heard over the news about this man whom I think about 35-40 years old who finally cuts the line and reassures himself of being a MAN!! Circumcision is what I'm trying to say. Yup! you heard it right. A fully grown man reaches that age before he decided to do the "ribbon-cutting". Surely it takes a lot of guts for him to bear the fact about his situation. It is like carrying a boulder of rock with a label "supot pa ako!". After the circumcision, he was asked how it feels to be circumcised. "I feel very happy now that I am circumcised, Now I feel complete!". Two thumbs up for manong!!! XD

Satan deceives.

A while ago I was watching tv. Gag shows, music channels, (no cable tv for now.. =( missing the HBO, Cartoon Network, and the WWE superstars)and everything that catches my short span of attention. While surfing through channels, my eyes got hooked up watching 700 club asia. Being a Christian and a person who attends church and bible studies regularly, I was educated into things about religion(I am not a saint!) and about God so 700clubasia would not be a priority for me to watch.

What interests me is about those satanists who confess and became Christians. Lots of questions came to me.. How did they worship satan?? Is there any rituals or ceremonies?? What urges them to worship satan?? How would they know satan's will?? in general, How to live a life being with satan??

As I think of random things within myself, I was wondering why these things interests me. Did I desire to be one of them?? Absolutely no!(Groar!!) Think of an attractive small white jar with colorful images covering it tied with a big red ribbon and your mom told you NOT to open it until she come back. Uhmmm........ of course out of curiosity, I'll open it. That's why we seek for the things that are new to us, that are seldom talked about. If you have 2 boxes of chocolates, one is already opened and saw what's inside, and the other one is unopened and looks attractive, which one would you pick?? of course the unopened one.

Now going back to the satan thing..

What urges them to be a satanist?? This guy(I'm not good at names and references so let's assume his name was "Leopoldo"), Leopoldo, once believe in Christ. A sudden accident happen with his mom and his mom died(to make the story short). From there, he decided to be a satanist. I know he believes in Jesus but refuses to worship Him because of what happen to his mom, and to show serious disobedient to God, he worshiped satan. This section of the story really caught me. Leopoldo, being a satanist, actually saw satan himself! and I learned that not only Leopold who saw satan but every satanist.

Leopoldo says: "Nakikita ko siya. Nakakausap ko na parang kaibigan. Normal lang."

interviewer: "How does satan look?"

Leopoldo: "Yung nakikita natin sa tv na me sungay at buntot, hindi po siya ganun. Very attractive si satan".

That clearly reminds me of satan, once, being a dominant the most beautiful angel in heaven. But as satan, appearing in front of you is a real creepy thing! I'm starting to have goosebumps from where I am seated(rrrrr!). Satan once personifies as a serpent in the garden of eden. It may not be his real appearance but they're sure It's satan. Maybe some would thought that Leopold is in some mental problem but the way I watched the program, I say It's fairly the usual thing. And hey! I'ts the 700 club asia, followers of Christ don't lie in a national television. I have encountered some articles, I've read about Marilyn Manson's few interviews(Marilyn Manson is an antichrist and a reverend at the church of satan.), the conversation was something like this..

interviewer: Marilyn Manson, where did you get your concepts when writing a song??

Marilyn: "I get my songs from satan. I play my old tracks listening to it, and I summon satan in front of me. Doing some rhythms and satan gives me the lyrics and there it goes."

interviewer: Can you summon satan?

Marilyn: "Of course I can. I do that every time."

I forgot the precise detail about the conversation, but the conversation is something like that if I'm not mistaken.(I told you I'm not good at references) At first I don't believe Marilyn. Given the fact that he's a complete psycho. But after what I watched, Yes! I now believe him!

Leopold also was fascinated by music. With that, he wished satan to boost his music skills and the charm for girls. Leopoldo says, for satan to do that, there's a deal. The first 10 years of indulgence with girls, sex, fame, money, and everything, would be free. But for the 11th year, he should offer a life as a sacrifice for him to extend his indulgence. Human to be specific. And not only an ordinary man, but the one who's close to him(family members, uncle, girlfriend, etc). Remind me of the movie "Bedazzled" has anyone remembered the movie?? Brendan Fraser sold his soul to Elizabeth Hurley(played as satan) for 10 wishes just to make the girl fall in love with him. (better watch the movie).

When it comes to music, I remembered Jimi Hendrix, John Lennon, and many other artists that we looked up to as pioneers and legends when it comes to music. Yes they were good! their songs are immortal and being played in the radio upto now. But I have also read articles about them being an antichrist. (go on search google) Is their skills came from satan?? more likely.

Leopold also says that there are lots of antichrist who are involved in media, music, and television, which has the opportunity to corrupt minds of people especially the minds of the youngs. Leopold reveals that evil works hide in kiddie cartoons where monsters, children, and evil in the story became friends which is not what should really happen in reality. Reminds me of the red guy in the cartoon "cow and chicken". Video games are also a huge factor(I'm guilty of it!).

Well.. I myself have Christ in me. now that's a fact! hahaha! It seems you are wondering why I do know a lot about evil things. Yes I was interested about it. Not because I want to do it, but because I want to be conscious of my acts. I don't want to unintentionally commit sin. As what I'm always saying, we have our brains to analyze, to think, and rationalize. Don't just sit there and let people direct your thoughts, instead make your own.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

summer means being bored at home =D

What are you expecting to do when summer vacation strikes?? Going somewhere in batangas?, beaches in Zambales?, a resort in Laguna?, Puerto?, boracay?, or an out of country vacation? I myself had gone batangas, sleepover at sta maria bulacan, foodtrip at calumpit, and many places. It's fun! with those sunburns, and sando line(just like bikini lines but a sando). I've met people, saw different places and, being in a different community, bond with my friends, taking pictures and a lot more. Everyone is expecting great this summer. 2 months of less worries about school (yes i know you take summer class so I'm not including you!) and many things set aside.

But!summer and vacation is actually not an everyday party for me. No school means no allowance. Without money I can't buy things I want(for now, I don't want anything so I think it's ok), can't go to places I wanted to(Friends place, malls, etc.). I can ask my parents for money and of course they hand me but not at all times(and of course they don't want to spoil me too much we don't have that much resources). Whenever there's an opportunity of going out, I go. But during ordinary days. I stayed home doing nothing. Eat my breakfast, play the piano, watch television, browse, then in the midnight, Through blog, I evaluate myself being surprised, "ooh! i accomplish this! I accomplish doing nothing!" haha! A zombie without a purpose haha! But as i look into some of my friends, hey! i'm not the only one who's like this! there's many others out there and some are even worse than me haha!

This day, I knew I've done something worthwhile. I do the laundry(as always) and as a reward, I got 7 pesos and 35 cents out of the pants of my family members who doesn't appreciate the value of barya! haha! that's almost a minimum jeepney ride or a chippy with 1 boybawang!haha! do you have laundry? leave it to me! just kidding! haha!

Ooooh!! it's getting hotter and hotter here. I better took my
bath before i collapse! enough for now..

The popular christian band DC talk.. christian or not??

Yes, we are familiar with these guys. The band who popularize the song "jesus freaks". From it, many Christians uses the same term "jesus freaks" as a title describing them to be an enthusiast of God. Let me remind you guys especially DC talk fans, the articles contains negative contents about DC talk . You may find yourself struggling on which side to choose. Just like when i first read all of these (will i hate dc talk?? or will i continue hearing their music??). I say, God has given us our brain to think. To analyze, to rationalize, and to be conscious of our acts. I can say i am in neutral grounds uhmm.. 70% is not for DC talk, 30% is for DC talk! LOL. For me, the music video was a little creepy (the producer who they worked with is an antichrist according to the article) I'm not really a fan of them but i knew some of their songs. I get the good things out of them and their songs, and rejects the bad ones(or what they called evil). It's a very long article. You might get bored but It's worth the read. =D

"Jesus Freak"? -DC Talk is of the devil

DC Talk's video "Jesus Freak" is one of the most popular Christian video's ever recorded...

But, how "Christian" is it?

"Jesus Freak" was directed by an Englishman named Simon Maxwell. And who is Simon Maxwell? Simon Maxwell is video director for the satanic and blasphemous Nine Inch Nails!

DC Talk openly admits to watching one of Nine Inch Nails videos, and liked Maxwell's style. "We had seen some of Simon's work with Nine Inch Nails", says DC Talk vocalist Toby McKeehan. "HIS STYLE APPEALED TO US." (Billboard, November 11, 1995)

Have you seen the "ultra-blasphemous" video "Closer" by Nine Inch Nails? It shows a monkey crucified on a cross!

Here's a clip from Nine Inch Nails video "Closer"!

DC Talk openly admits to watching this kind of blasphemy!

"If you think I WORSHIP SATAN because of something you see in the 'Closer' video [with its images of a crucified monkey]- great!"
(Trent Reznor, People, Feb. 6, 1995)

You talk about wicked satanic, blasphemy! And DC Talk proudly admits to watching Nine Inch Nails videos and liked them so much they hired Simon Maxwell to direct and produce their "Jesus Freak" video!

And believe me there's NOTHING CHRISTIAN about the video!

Even Billboard magazine says of the video, "The clip's slick style and in-your-face imagery could easily fit between cutting edge video's from the likes of Nirvana to Nine Inch Nails. . ." (Billboard, Nov 11, 1995)

Simon Maxwell says the process of creating the DC Talk clip wasn't MUCH DIFFERENT from what he did on the Nine Inch Nails video. (Billboard, Nov 11, 1995)

Nine Inch Nails, lead by Trent Reznor, who even Spin magazine calls the "Evil One" (Spin, April 1997). Trent Reznor is personally responsible for the "huge-mainstream" success of the "perverted-blasphemous-Satanist" Marilyn Manson. Manson, a member of the Church of Satan, says in Spin, Aug. 96 (p.34), "Hopefully, I'll be remembered as the who brought an end to Christianity". Manson's latest album is "AntiChrist Superstar".

In the understatement of the year, Toby McKeehan told Billboard magazine, ". . . the intention of the clip was to "push the envelope" of the Christian music community. . . they expect some of the more CONSERVATIVE members of the Christian community to FROWN on the adventurous clip." (Billboard, Nov 11, 1995)

God help us! God help us, that we as Christians let groups like dc Talk hide behind a "Christian" label and "pervert" our Christian young people!

A reporter for the San Diego North Country Reader, (February 29, 1996) covering a dc Talk "Freak Show" concert made these not-surprisingly, but sad words of testimony from some young people, ". . . we both laughed during the buildup for the encore of "Purple Haze/Jesus Freak" as several young booty shakers cried, almost in unison, 'These guys are the s*@!, man.'"

There is a CLEAR "testimony" of the "fruit" of dc Talk! Young people listening to them and spewing PROFANITY!

The words of the Lord Jesus Christ in Matthew 7:16-10, ring "loud and true"!

"Ye shall know them by their FRUITS. . .
every good tree bringeth forth good FRUIT;
but a CORRUPT tree bringeth forth EVIL fruit. . .
Wherefore by their FRUITS ye shall KNOW them."
Matthew 7:16-20

Christian parents and youth ministers are naively sending their children to DC Talk concerts thinking they're providing a "Christian" alternative to the world. Tragically, DC Talk (and other demonic "Christian" Rock stars) are "spiritually" feeding their young people with Satanic poison!

And even worse — in the name of Jesus Christ!

Young person, parent, pastor, youth minister — whoever you are reading this — are you so "spiritually" blind you can't see this!

Or are you so "filled" with rock music — you just don't care!

Wake up young person!

Wake up pastor!

Wake up parents!

Quit sacrificing your children like "innocent lambs to the slaughter" to these C-rock "stars" "which come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves!" (Matt 7:15)

DC Talk Examined

by John and Kathy Beardsley

Article as it appears in The Christian Conscience June 1996

Christian Rock or an excuse for Christians to Rock? --- the band DC Talk Examined

The fun started the day a promotional tape came to our church for the DC Talk "Jesus Freak Tour" which was about a month before their concert on the evening of May 16th at the Rapid City Civic Center. I sat down at home and watched their video and was quite surprised by what was introduced to me as Christian music. I was so surprised I wanted to learn more. Little did I know the roller coaster ride I was stepping onto! I requested tickets from CMA, the promoters of DC Talk telling them I sought to write about the group for The Christian Conscience Magazine. Their hospitality in providing two tickets is appreciated. In part of my explanation as to why I wanted to attend, I told the promoters, "I believe Christians should have nothing to hide." My pastor puts it another way, "The truth never fears examination."

Who is the Group DC Talk?

DC Talk was formed in 1989 by [Toby] McKeehan and [Michael] Tait in Washington, D.C. DC Talk was a reference to the area, but their record label suggested they counter "vulgar stuff" out there by saying "DC" stood for "decent Christian" talk." (2)

"The group won Artist of the Year and Song of the Year at the Gospel Music Association’s Dove Awards in April. It was the first time a rock group or rock song had been honored in either catagory." (1)

The Album "Jesus Freak" is DC Talk’s latest work and sold 85,000 copies in its first week. "There are a lot of kids who come to see us on the road. Some of them like the music for its sheer listening pleasure." says Kevin Smith of DC Talk (1) "But its nice when fans go deeper and hear what Smith, 28, McKeehan, 31, and Michael Tait, 30, have to say as artists," Smith says.

The music’s message is as strong as the driving rock beat of "Jesus Freak," and as heartfelt as the lyrical beauty of their song "What if I Stumble." (1) Some of DC Talk’s musical role models are the Beatles, David Bowie, The Police, U2. [Ed. Note: these are ALL secular bands]

II Corinthians 6:14 reminds us:

"Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?"

"I think Jesus would have liked our music." "I think he would have appreciated the message, the stand we’re taking."- Kevin Smith of DC Talk (1)

The Message and Stand of DC Talk — Our First Hand Account

"And when Joshua heard the noise of the people as they shouted, he said unto Moses, [There is] a noise of war in the camp. And he said, [It is] not the voice of [them that] shout for mastery, neither [is it] the voice of [them that] cry for being overcome: [but] the noise of [them that] sing do I hear. And it came to pass, as soon as he came nigh unto the camp, that he saw the calf, and the dancing: and Moses' anger waxed hot, and he cast the tables out of his hands, and brake them beneath the mount.." (Exodus 32:17 - 19)

The evening of May 16, 1996 my wife, Kathy, and I went to the Rapid City Civic Center to see for ourselves why DC Talk is so popular. We did not anticipate the decibel level at which the band played, but thankfully, the Lord provided earplugs through a friend working security. We knew the music would be loud, but not the earsplitting level we experienced that evening. We spotted eighteen speakers over head on each side –36 speakers in all.

The tickets we were provided placed us in row one to one side of the stage. From our seats we could see at least 18-20 support staff as well as 5 police officers for security. We both noticed a surprisingly large number of young children at the concert ranging in age from approximately 5 years to preteen. I guess most parents felt safe taking or letting their young children go to a "Christian" concert.

Just before the concert began an announcer cautioned that the dance floor area (otherwise known as the "mosh pit") on the opposite side of the stage from where we were, was restricted to those who were eighteen and above. A couple of representatives from one of our local Christian stations did a bit of a theatrical introduction. I could not help but notice the earrings one of these men was wearing along with his "two tone" hair; it was quite a sight to behold.

The time arrived for the concert to begin, lights dimmed and the first band Audio Adrenaline came on stage. Suddenly a large number from the audience left their seats and rushed forward to be near the stage. At about the same time the band played the first bass beat and this crowd began to jump up and down to the music.

An extremely loud and incessant heavy bass beat was the predominant trademark for both bands for the entire evening. The musicians of Audio Adrenaline stirred-up the crowd as they thrashed their heads around, and bounced around the stage to their hard rock music. Kathy and I decided after the first couple of songs to move away after one girl jumping wildly near us knocked down another Thankfully they were both okay.

There was virtually no self control near the stage. This crowd was "high" on the loud music. On the third song we carried out our decision to move up and further away which gave us a better view but unfortunately no relief of the pounding bass beat we would feel in our chests until the concert ended.

Just when we thought things could not get nuttier, Audio Adrenaline played the secular rock song Free Ride. The crowd cheered wildly and went bananas, obviously recognizing the secular artist who wrote the song. They jumped harder and a small group in the front started waving their bodies around to the music in what is called a "mosh." Then someone was lifted on top of the crowd and was moved around by the crowds hands in a "body surf." This maybe mellow compared to a "secular" rock concert --- but should Christians behave like this?

Towards the end, even one of the Audio Adrenaline band members jumped on top of the crowd for a "surf" creating an atmosphere for chaos. All the while the music was so loud if anyone could hear the words it wasn’t enough to get a message from, hence, the reaction was to the "rock" beat not the words. After some 45 minutes Audio Adrenaline finished their session.

During the intermission I looked around to see what kind of items were for sale. Did they have books sharing their testimony? Or anything which would identify them with Christ? I didn’t find any. Instead, all I could see on the tables were T-Shirts promoting the bands, pendants, key-rings and pictures of the band at what I thought were exorbitant prices. Anyone going to this concert paid $18.50 just to get in, so I guess it should not have been a surprise.

The Eye and the Freak

The intermission ended and the stage was completely rearranged. A very elaborate lighting array encompassed the band and stage. The lights dimmed, the heavy bass started and the crowd was jumping again. DC Talk also added a video screen behind them and as they played various pictures were shown with some songs. Other frames had abstract colors similar to what you might see in an old ‘60s movie portraying those weird acid rock groups!

In the video for the song Mind’s Eye some of the pictures went from abstract to bizarre. The video flashed pictures of a human eye then switching to the eye of an eagle or a hawk, it was hard to say, from soaring above scenery of the outdoors, through clouds and this sequence repeated a few times. Then it switched to that of flying into a lightning storm which really was weird, a spot on the cloud would light up and the bolt of lightning followed, all very fast and sometimes several at once. Then it switched back to the human eye flashing back and forth with that hawk or eagle eye. Just the name of the song I believe gave it more than a New Age theme, whether the band knows that or not!

Numerous strobe lights which were used during certain parts of DC Talk’s session along with a combination of the other effects. An interesting thing we noticed was that every time DC Talk played a secular song such as the Beatles’ Help and the Doobie Brothers’ Jesus is Just Alright With Me, the crowd got louder and more excited. DC Talk also used, Jimi Hendrix’s, Purple Haze [Editor note: a drug reference], and the sound of the mouthpiece instrument made famous by the Rock singer, Peter Frampton. Each time either band did anything secular the amount of body surfing increased as well as other behavior unbecoming of Christians. That should suggest that the majority of the crowd was there for the "rock" music and the Christian aspect had nothing to do with it.

Let’s not forget ---the members from both bands encouraged the behavior and took part in it! Two of the DC Talk band members jumped off stage into the crowd and the third band member jumped off sound equipment that sat on the stage which made his jump higher. Appearing to be about five feet above the raised hands of the crowd from where we were sitting.

One of the DC Talk Band members, when introducing their main song Jesus Freak, explained how he was trying to come up with some lyrics and that he opened his dictionary and "stumbled across a word in the ‘F’ section" – The crowd cheered loudly before he went on to say what the word was--- "freak.". then proceeded to give definitions of the word:

1. Strange, weird or queer.

2. Jokingly saying, "I don’t remember, uh, Bill Clinton."

3. Lastly, "An ardent enthusiast," inferring they are ardent enthusiasts for Jesus Christ, to which the crowd roared loudly once again.

A Strange Gospel Presentation

Through the DC Talk session which ran about one hour and forty minutes, the band members spoke of God in general terms only. I noticed how often the band leader, kept saying "God is coming again." Perhaps I’m not used to hearing it put that way, but I tell people, "Jesus is coming again!" I found his statements to be confusing and almost misleading at times.

The band leader did say, there’s a God who forgives us when we stumble, which led into one song I could half way understand. DC Talk also quoted from a Bible translation I am unfamiliar with. He said, "…anyone who dislikes his fellowman is not in the light…" meaning, he is not right with God. The Bible says in 1 John 2:9-11:

"He that saith he is in the light, and hateth his brother, is in darkness even until now. He that loveth his brother abideth in the light, and there is none occasion of stumbling in him. But he that hateth his brother is in darkness, and walketh in darkness, and knoweth not whither he goeth, because that darkness hath blinded his eyes."

"Disliking someone" versus "hating" someone is one example of changing what the Bible says.

The stand for Christ at the end of the concert given by one of the band members started with "People will let you down," and "I’m not here to preach". While some of what was said was good, "people letting you down whereas Jesus Christ won’t," his message ended with the words "Any kind of pressure is wrong, I don’t want to put any pressure on anyone" and "Just ask someone walking around you"—in reference to finding out more about "this Jesus."

Though the band members spoke of their personal struggles and briefly mentioned that Jesus carried them through, they weren’t explicit in telling the crowd HOW they can know Jesus Christ as their personal Savior. ---They left the responsibility to the unsuspecting people in the crowd, who the majority it would seem, cared more about beating everyone else out the door!

Case in point: Many folks had already left the auditorium when they realized the music was over and more were leaving as the band member started talking!

During a break in the middle of the concert, the band members took time to share with the audience. That should have been the perfect time to give a salvation message, knowing the crowd would stick around for the music following. Unfortunately, the opportunity was completely missed. It was truly heartbreaking to see so many left hanging when there was opportunity to plant seeds of salvation.

A Message of Compromise

Smith said, referring to Jesus, "I think He would appreciate the message, the stand we’re taking." My question is: What stand did he take? What message did he give the people other than you know how to compromise with the world; using their music, speaking in adoration of the people who wrote the secular music, making your role models those who are of the secular world? Some of these role models you chose are anti-Christian and are of the world and not of God.

A lesson to be learned!--- When you compromise with the world, you will end up doing things their way, not God’s. Labeling something "Christian" doesn’t make so. As a Christian, can you stand apart from the world when you blend in so well? How are they going to know?

"I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, [which is] your reasonable service. And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what [is] that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God." (Romans 12:1-2)

We believe DC Talk and their music are prime examples of compromising these verses in the Christian realm. When I put this together with other statements by Smith in an interview with our local paper,

"None of the three band members is a member of an organized Christian denomination." Smith, "We follow the person of Jesus Christ." Then Smith goes on to say, "We feel the Christian belief is a personal belief, that it’s not something that can be taught."

What about Bible verses like: II Timothy 3:16?

"All scripture [is] given by inspiration of God, and [is] profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:"

The interview points out that Smith was raised in a Christian family like the other band members and he says, "I grew up knowing theology, but I didn’t know a personal relationship with God until I found it by myself."

Compare Smith’s statement and his music to the following verses:

"And [that] he died for all, that they which live should not henceforth live unto themselves, but unto him which died for them, and rose again. Wherefore henceforth know we no man after the flesh: yea, though we have known Christ after the flesh, yet now henceforth know we [him] no more. Therefore if any man [be] in Christ, [he is] a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new." (2 Corinthians 5:15-17)

Does this kind of music reflect the new or the old? DC Talk was right, people let you down. Their "sermon," was the biggest let down and most irresponsible one I have ever heard.

Bodysurfing, Moshing and Headbanging for Jesus?

"Thus saith the LORD, Learn not the way of the heathen…" (Jeremiah 10:2 )

"Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord…" (II Corinthians 6:17)

Yes! The "Bodysurfing, Moshing and Headbanging" we witnessed on the video was largely the reason we saw the need to research and write this article. No one we talked to has ever heard of this behavior in the name of Christianity. In fact, DC Talk says in their promotional video, "we want to get a good mosh pit going and some head-banging." As to the bodysurfing, well the band participates! Does this sort of behavior align to scripture? Consider the following scriptures:

"Let us walk honestly, as in the day; not in rioting and drunkenness, not in chambering and wantonness, not in strife and envying. But put ye on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make not provision for the flesh, to [fulfill] the lusts [thereof]." (Romans 13:13-14)

Are Christian parents so naïve that they do not see the "fleshly" appeal to their teenagers? What about the riotous atmosphere? They passed people across the top of a crowd with their hands, on their front and back, boy and girl alike!!!

How about the extremely loud volume? It was earsplitting in a literal sense, I listened through one song, and my ears were ringing. Are not our bodies considered a temple for the Holy Spirit? Why do Christians want to subject their eardrums to abuse? Why is it necessary to promote this kind of behavior, much less be a part of it? Do we agree with the worldly philosophy of "safe sex," and say, "Well they’re going to do it anyway?"

What about the children at this concert? Kathy and I both saw different reactions from the small children some were mimicking the adults, others were in a stupor sitting quietly as the music droned on and on. We even had one boy pass in front of us saying to a friend, "Now all I have to do is get my hearing back." – That was only halfway through the concert! We were saddened more by watching these young kids than anything else. What must be going through the heads of these children?! For both of us our sadness turns to anger against anyone who would corrupt our children like this! What did Jesus say about the little ones?

"And whosoever shall offend one of [these] little ones that believe in me, it is better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and he were cast into the sea." (Mark 9:42)

Sadly, even the promoters for the band echo the same sentiment one of our local Christian radio stations did, these are the "thing to do" with kids at concerts. Has God changed, or have we? A local response to a letter to the editor of our newspaper concerning these activities that would occur, compared Christian Rock to David dancing in the Temple. So, are we now going to start charging $18.50 a seat to worship?

The verses in the Bible are numerous which speak against these activities, even though the promoters have argued, "it is well orchestrated and safety is a priority," this does not change the fact that the behavior is not Christian. I have spent over a week thinking of how to convey the danger and deception of the music and behavior. It comes down to what does the Bible say? What are the standards for Christian music set forth in the Bible? Do musical forms reflect beliefs? Where is the line? Where does the Christian set their standards? We must agree on Christian behavior, do you participate in these things?

I was saved out of the rock scene. Why would I want to enslave myself to this worldly lifestyle again? While speaking with Sarah Leslie, Editor of the Christian Conscience, she pointed out that

"The use of the term "freak", according to its original meaning, has now been turned completely around. Those who were hippie counter-culture "freaks" were radically saved. When we were called "Jesus Freaks" in the ‘70’s, it was a reference to our past life, but also implied being willing to live for Jesus in a holy, sober and righteous manner that ran completely contrary to the popular hippie culture --- in other words becoming a new type of "freak".

DC Talk has twisted the term completely around to mean Christians mimicking the popular culture --- willing to act wildly, moshing, head-banging, etc. (like "freaks") to spread the Gospel."

I have to ask why would we ever use such a word as "freak" to describe our fervor for Jesus Christ? Why do we need to "dress down" as these band members do? Do we need to do this to be accepted? Do we have to cross-dress to reach cross-dressers?

The Rock and Roll culture is a subculture, on the fringe of our society. Is this kind of music Christian? No, I do not believe it is. Are the band members Christians? Perhaps, it is hard to tell if you go by the music and the words, only God knows the heart. At best this was a Rock n’ Roll concert performed by some misled Christians. Parents beware!

"Ye adulterers and adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God." (James 4:4)