Monday, June 9, 2008

A shot of repellent please?

"An idiot, an imbecile who lacks sanity and attention. A person whose in desperate need of something unattainable. Who thinks his/her life is worthless and is prisoned by his/her present life experiences. A hopeless retard!"

That's how I looked into those people who commit suicide. They suck! Life is worth living and enjoying. To enjoy things on earth is one reason why we live. To be happy! For myself, for my family and friends, for others. And so as I look into those people who wasted their life and to some who attempted ending theirs, It's not sympathy nor pity I feel for them, anger and hatred it is. I know people whom I personally knew and some are actually a not so close friends who committed suicide. One I knew is a person having some girlfriend problems and out of his stupidity, he jumped off a two-storey high school building(he only suffered from an ankle pain or dislocation or whatever though). Also a friend of mine, (I think it's too confidential for us to know the reason) intentionally drank a bottle of an insect repellent. Another is my eldest sister's classmate during high school, drank a bottle of bleach(the one used in laundry i think). Good thing all of them are crazy enough not to be accepted in heaver nor hell(You three!!! If you've read this which I'm sure you'll not because even a short paragraph would laze you to read, stop whining and let's just learn from your heroic doings XD). I laugh every time I and some friends discuss about it. And hey!! This is life that God gave to us. It's a privilege, a gift, an opportunity to be a part of this whole thing called mankind.

But things changes. Things happen and sometimes it changes the way we think, our point of views, our philosophies, the way we see life. In a man's voyage of life, there are times when the wind favors us and we just have to set our sail to our planned destination. There are also times of heavy storms and gigantic waves, hurricanes, and whirlpools, and sometimes sea-monsters (just exaggerating, I am picturing the Pirates of the Carribean era). Personally, this part of life I am now living is a heavy storm. Of course, I being the captain, and if related to my personality, I would do what is necessary to do and if there's nothing more of a man's control, I'll just sit calmly and wait for the storm to stop. Die if I were to die, lucky if gotten alive.

Career, Relationships, Friends and Families, Future, Responsibilities, etc. Everyone wish for a good one. But as I said, The wind is not always at your side. Enumerating problems would not be a good idea since I'm not begging for sympathy. With all that was happening to me right now, Oftentimes I feel like giving up. And yah! The one's I called idiot and imbecile who lacks attention and sanity could also be me. Honestly, a .0012%(approximately haha!) of me thinks ending my life would clear things out. In a bus ride, I am thinking of the possibilities of what if's. What if this bus loses it's breaks and would fall off an abyss? In walking at streets, What if someone stab me directly to my vital organs and died immediately?? All that and more I am thinking of. And later on would tell myself, It's just my family and some friends who'll be there at my funeral. It'll only took them days, or weeks, or a month of mourning. And after that, it's all good! things would go back to normal. My problems would be cleared out. And less problem and headache i'll be giving them when I'm not around. But then of course there's now way I'll do that. It is an unforgivable sin to God. Yup! Problems are all solved, but what's next after it? Spending eternity with that evil horny guy(LOL) and would gargle mayonnaise in hell?? Eerrrrr! I don't want even a glimpse of hell!!! If suicide would be approved by human law, I think, I'd still say no. I don't want to bathe with my own blood nor having a rope marks in my neck in my funeral. It's just things such as those come in our mind. Good thing I was raised by a pastor(yes I am a pastor's kid! often misconceived) and a good man in the person of my father.

Huh!! This is just a test of a true believer. Surpassing this could be a breakthrough of something more out of me. No one would help me but myself. And also with God being always there. It's a great feeling there's One whom I can turn into. As Timone & Pumba's philosophy says, "It means no worries, for the rest of your days.. It's a problem free.. Philosophy.. Hakkuna Matata!" LOL

Ooooh well.. As I am writing this blog right now, I regret being a blogger. I regret promoting this site to those friends. I regretted introducing even my nickname as "jiMboy". I should have stick with what I always do. And that is to keep myself private and mysterious as I could be. And the new theme is for the new beginning I think. No more Mr. Teen idol wannabe. What you see is what you'll get. I think most bloggers later on regret being one. But once you started it, There's no coming back especially when your heart is on narrations and writings. For a period of time, you'll fade. This is my first post since last month I think, and with that month of hiatus, my notes are filled with stories and experiences waiting for me to write them.

21 comments are welcomed:

ifoundme said...

living life to the fullest doesn't mean you should be happy all the time. there are nuggets of wisdom in times of sadness and challenges. having joy in both times of sadness and happiness means you are living your life to full capacity.

don't regret having to share your sentiments over the net. though we might be able to see a little of you through your writings, we still don't get to see how you are in real life and there is nothing wrong with that. when you vent or say what's in your mind, it paves a way for you to cope.

anyway, for what it's worth, just live your life the way you want it to be and, yes, don't make suicide an option in life. it's the option of losers.

UtakMunggo said...

uy! nagbihis ng blog, pati ang name pinaiksi super. haha

anyway, not to dignify the act of suicide, but most of those who actually commit suicide are really sick in the head, yun bang it's beyond their own help kasi sa chemical imbalance ng brain- example ay ang pasyente suffering from bipolar. yun magtataka ka very happy one day tapos the next ayun na sa morgue.

still, maraming attempters out there na may gusto lang talagang patunayan sa ibang tao at magbigay ng guilt feelings sa kanila.

yun ang di ko masakyan.

. said...

@ifoundme:
thanks for those words.. =D

@utakmunggo:
tingin ku hindi naman aku one of those mentally sick haha sumasagi lang talaga ng katiting sa isip ng kahit na sinu sa tingin ku. Pero as for me, I can't imagine doing such things =D

salamas sa commens! =D

yeahred2 said...

Awts 'yung suicide part ah. Hehe. But anyway, I learned my lesson. :)

. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
. said...

bayani ka rin? haha joke lang! =D

Jason Paul Laxamana said...

gusto ko mag-suicide minsan para lang magpapansin :)

http://cosmicsex.blogspot.com

. said...

hahah minsan naiisip ku din yan! wahahahaha

mentholGUY said...

You might have heard the news of that UPLB student who died after drinking Formalin, for chrissake. He intentionally drank that, therefore committing suicide, since he's down and depressed with the recent break-up (who happened to live the dorm next to OURS) and his low-lying academic standing.

I find him annoying, though I partly understand that people at their lowest naturally thinks that way.

But it's just a PHASE, and he's probably stupid to look at it in the long run.

-

I love Georgia as a font (I suppose your blogfont is Georgia, am I right?)

FerBert said...

uh oh... may post akong ganito eh.. naunahan mo akong magpublish.. nakasave lang sya sa drafts ko.. pero ipopost ko pa rin siguro next week..

deejaye eleven said...

pano un natamaan ako? di kasi ako sanay sa malaking problema eh, saka madali akong masaktan.. kaya nung dumating sa akin di ko kinaya hehehehe! :)

. said...

@mentholguy:
He lived in a dorm next to yours?? No wonder you knew a lot LOL. It's a little creepy.Uhmm.. Naisip ku din un but no way will I pursue it.

umm.. yup it's Georgia(I have to look at my html settings just to check if it was Georgia LOL. It was the default settings since I started this blog)

@ferbert:
Post mu na! pabasa ku XD

@deejayeleven:
Honestly, when I post an entry, I did not expect people to relate that much. Peru it's surprising na madami din pala nakakarelate at nasusurprise din ako minsan. Lalu na ung recent post ku about son and dad relationship, me friend aku na naiyak kasi narecall nya daw yung sarili nya before when she readthe post.

natamaan ka man, I think you have learned your lesson. I'm sure you did got something from it =D

Jmar said...

Mahirap magsuicide lalo na pag nadala ka lang ng mga emotions mo. Pag mag susuicide, kelangan, emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritally, handa ka dapat. Hehe. Ewan ko. Ugh. What was I thinking? Lol.

. said...

hahah mukang expert ka kuya jmar ah? haha

the donG said...

welcome back pare. hehehe... keep blogging. challenges comes and goes. it builds us. it molds us to be stronger but the horny one (funny term) always shows us the opposite.

he is the king of lies. let's not be tempted by his lies. but i admit it's not easy. life is hard. so we need someone stronger. im sure you know what i mean. hehehe...

keep blogging. thanks for visiting my blog.

. said...

Yup! thanks for those words. Gladly appreciated. THanks for visiting Mr. Dong =D

deejaye eleven said...

wow. oo nga nakakatuwa nga un pag may nakakarelate sa post mo :)

. said...

it serves as a token of appreciation for your post. Suddenly, it became an inspiration to write more. hehe =D

kingdaddyrich said...

welcome back. ang tagal mo ring nawala. bumalik ka rin.

may mga pagkakataon talaga sa buhay ng tao na malulungkot siya at mararamdaman na iyon ang pinakamalungkot na yugto ng buhay niya. at may ilan na sumusuko.

hindi natin sila masisisi. sabihin na nating ito na ang pinaka pathetic na option na pwede mong gawin kapag nasusuong sa mabibigat na problema, pero wala tayo sa sitwasyon nila. may mga bagay na mas madaing sabihin kaysa gawin. at iba iba tayo. iba iba ang tao.

sulat lang ng sulat. kung may bagay kang ginagawa ng paulit ulit at nakakaramdam ka ng kaligayahan sa paggawa nito, gawin mo lang. basta ba wala kang naaapakang ibang tao. :D

Abbie said...

salamat kaibigan! eto back to school este blog. Dyan sa Tundo dami nagsu-suicide. So lumang tugtugin na sa atin mga ganitong pangyyari haha! Peru hindi din pala. Dadating at dadating din ang panahon na sasagi sa isip.

Ayun! back to blogging nga. Sulat ng sulat! hahaha salamat sa pagbisita ginoong kingdaddyrich! Daanan ako sa lungga mo maya maya =D

. said...

waah!! tae! tong comment sa taas, aking comment yan.. nakapangalan lang sa kapatid ko. Pambihira kasi! napublish ko ng ibang username at password nakalagay. Sanay ako ng ako lang ang gumagamit ng blogspot dito kaya username ko lagi naka-sign in. Mukang gumawa ng blogspot utol ko! Pambihira d maglog-out.