Monday, July 14, 2008

get wan hul shit!

A gossip of criticism from professors that is about me has reached my awareness. And with that, It gives me the urge to write things up. After all, it's been a month since I last blog. Really, as much as I wanted to blog my thoughts, every time I face my PC, laziness always hit me real hard. So I always end up with nothing. But after I heard a gossip about me from a classmate who refused to tell whoever professor it is(but doesn't really matter whoever it is. I just only want to know), I rush on things on how will I blog it given the fact that I am in school and class is ongoing. I got a pen, and draw one yellow paper and you probably know what comes next, I did the orthodox style of blogging which means I literally am writing my thoughts in a yellow paper. Surprisingly, I am starting to like it this way. (It is my NSTP class while I am writing this, and I should pretend that I copy notes and not blogging XD)

A while ago as I chat with a bully classmate/seatmate, he threw some questions regarding some of my previous doings and I think he's just curious about some things about me. I comply with his questions by sharing something that after I've studied two and a half years of college in an activist lurking university at manila, here I am, a demoted freshman in a catholic college as where we are(which I think is another explanation or another blog post). Another classmate happened to listen in our conversation. He commented, "Ah kaya pala."(His curiosity about "How could you simply answer academical questions without us seeing you study or reviewing?" finally ends.) Then said, "Pero alam mo Lester(my name in my birth certificate), may nagsabi nga na isang prof, matalino ka daw kaya lang ano..." Whatever "ano" it is, I did get the point and it surely means negative.

At one point, I am bothered. I know I am used hearing such words and even worse, maybe it's just that it had been a long time since I hear such words again. In the previous college I'm into, I learned to to fear professors, not to be afraid to commit mistakes and errors, don't mind failing. Though I fail some subjects, I passed most of them and surely have learned a lot.

"Matalino kaya lang ano.."

At present, I go to class late but I don't intend to. I seldom submit assignments(I laze on it), and would just secretly walk out of the classroom if not in the mood. But also, in class, you'll see me reciting and outnumbering others by words being recited and thoughts being shared. I stand out in class while everyone else seems lifeless. I get higher grades than any of them. My essays and narrations are very much applauded(while it was just a piece of crap for me). With all of these I think is where the criticism rooted.

I'm an evil trapped in an angels figure nor an angel pretending to be evil or whatever thing it is. I've got pair of wings and a halo but in me hides a pair of horns and an ugly tail. Always misconceived. I can be intelligent but I prefer not to be one. I apologize for disappointing people but I live a life that is me. I won't follow that SVO (Subject Verb Oriented -not sure about the last word) format they thought us when putting titles in my journals(I am the boss in my own blog LOL). Even the most non-sense title I'll insist! As long as I am happy with it.

I guess rules complete my existence. If there are no rules, there would be no individuals where I am categorized. And I am very sure you are too! XD