Friday, May 16, 2008

scold-jah' boy

Joggling of thoughts that best soothes my present mind state, I play poker on my browser. It's been a long time since my last post and now is the perfect time to make a new one but my mind hardly gives me a thing to write. Until my dad called me.

Itay: "Nakita mu ba 'yung telepono?(wireless one)

jiMboy: "Wala po ba sa baba?" (I'm upstairs playing poker)
(I searched for it and found it at my sister's place)

jiMboy: "Pa, Eto po o."
(hand it to him.)

(The phone has no charge. And surely can't receive outgoing calls)

Itay: "Sa susunod pag ginamit nyo telepono ibaba nyo rin agad ha! Hindi nyo inaayos eh!"

jiMboy: ...

Yes. It is a summary of me in this family. I know myself of being naughty, pilyo, makulit, and all that are associated with those words, during my childhood. When I was a child, when I knew I did something wrong or unpleasant, I shook to nervousness that my dad will knew what I did. And as I could expect, I'm being scolded to death. The above situation, I took words from my dad that are not supposed to be all mine. I rarely use the phone. In twenty phone calls received, only one is mine. It is my sisters who used the phone more often. But then, no big deal. I got used to it.

Last night, I came home tired from work plus the heavy traffic and the ignored rain in my clothes. I enter our house. A little talk. My dad noticed the CPU of our desktop computer. In our house where it is usually placed, is a poor ventilated area so it ended up automatically turning off(maybe because of overheating). I did open the cpu cover so it could not store heat inside and an electric fan could keep it cool. Unfortunately, I misplaced the screws somewhere.

Itay: "Ba't ba ganyan 'yung CPU nyan?"

jiMboy: "Tinanggal ko po Pa eh, namamtay po kasi dahil umiinit."

Itay: "Tutukan mo lang ng elektrik fan yan!"

jiMboy: "Kahit may electric fan po namamatay pag nakasara eh"
(I, and my sisters use it. While he uses his laptop so I know it's problem!)

Itay: "Hindi! Tutukan mo lang ng electric fan yan!"
(He never let his pride fades and would never loose a conversation with only his son.)

jiMboy: ... (I'm tired and hungry from work. I am conversing while eating my dinner. And somehow Ignores what he is saying)

Itay: "Nasan na 'yung mga turnilyo?"

jiMboy: "Nasa taas ku lang po 'yun nilagay eh kaya lang d ku na po makita dun sa
pinaglagyan ko." (There it goes!)

Itay: "Binuksan-buksan nyo yan tapos ganyan lang gagawin nyo! Nag-loan pa ko sa HSBC para lang makuha yan. Hanggang ngayon binabayaran ko yan! Tapos binababoy nyo lang!"

Itay: (mumbles...)

jiMboy: ...

I grew up this way. I am the only boy among his three children. He scolds in general but the words are only for me. I know I'm not that perfect son. Not a consistent honor student in my elementary and high school days, unlike my siblings. I fail several units in my present college state. My eldest sister is now a certified public accountant and works at a highly reputed company. The younger is consistently studying.

Being the only male son, I was the favorite. Favorite in terms of chores, doing favors, going to a nearest store to buy something, would ask to wash the dishes, would do the family's laundry
(not joking!), go there, do that, and my great sisters sitting in comfity watching television. I did all things without a word because if not, I'll took a sermon and I'm sick of it. I remember sometimes he told me to buy 10 ventolin(painkillers of asthmatic people), I bought 10, and hand it him and he said "Bakit 10 lang?? di ba sabi ko 15?? Sa susunod iisipin ng mabuti 'yung ginagawa ha?" Shoot!! I never said a word. I know he's always right. He never loses a conversation with me. My dad just calling my name jiMboOoOoOh!! makes my heart pulsate fast thinking if I've done something wrong without my knowledge. If it is not about something I did, it is a favor, a cumpolsary favor I dare not to disobey.

I get used to it, I think it made me a patient, happy person. In school, I don't bother being scold by a professor. My dad trained me of that LOL. I don't take what they are trying to put in my mind and I guess that's the reason I failed a lot. In the saddest moments with my friends, I'm the one whose smiling. I don't want to see loneliness in people's faces so I do something to cheer those frowns. I choose sunny days than romantic nights. You can't see me cry but would always laugh and smile. Kaya siguru kumapal ang muka ko ng ganito. Wahahahhaha XD

I love my dad. He did everything just for us to become like this. There's no perfect dad but there's a perfect heart in them caring for us. I don't judge my dad since I know It was more of me than of him being the wrong. I am a black sheep of my family but then, I am being loved and cared. Actually, this coming school year, I was suppose to graduate. But I am so dedicated to studying(means: I enjoyed too much in life XD), I'll still study more than what it supposed to be. I'm working hopefully to fully support myself. It's hard showing up to my dad with what I've done. His financial responsibility to me was supposedly finish. But he's there still supporting me. Mother's day had just passed but I don't know. It is not supposed to be a father's appreciation entry. But here I go. panindigan ku na =D

19 comments are welcomed:

utakGAGO said...

Aw, nakakalungkot naman tong post.

Ganyan talaga mga tatay - masanaaay ka na. :d Ganyan din erpats ko (though close kami).

What to say. Just look at the brighter side of everything - even if it's really.. impossible or something. Bleh. Basta!

jiMboy said...

yah I got it! haha someday magiging tatay din tayu at mararanasan din yung point of view nila =D

salamat sa bisita =D

yeahred2 said...

Hehe. I remembered my childhood days because of this post. Dati kasi, hindi talaga ako ganoon ka-close kay Daddy. As in. 'Yung tipong malayo talaga 'yung loob ko sa kanya. Paano naman kasi, kapag aalis siya, tulog ako. Kapag naman dumating siya, tulog ako. Definitely, no means of bonding. I really feel as if he didn't love me. Lalo na nung nagkaroon ako ng isa pang kapatid. Sobrang naging malayo talaga ako. There are points in my life that I want my Mom and Dad to separate. But as I grow up, lalo na nung naging binatilyo ako, mas naging open ako talaga kay Daddy. Right now, I could not imagine myself dad-less. Sobra. There are things, indeed, that only our Daddy can understand. Haha. Lalo nung nag-frat ako. LOL.

Erika said...

mahirap talagang magpalaki ng magulang. :P

kingdaddyrich said...

sa nakikita ko, (kahit hindi ko naman kita nakikita), hindi ka naman black sheep. ambaet baet mo nga eh. nakakalungkot lang kasi para bang wala kang light moments sa dad mo. lalo pa ikaw lang ang lalaki eh di sana mas nagkakasundo kayo diba? hay...

pahabol...

ang galang mo! :D

The [Deranged] Writer said...

While I love my mom the way you hate my dad, baliktad naman sakin. Haha. Seriously.

About my dad... Basta. You won't like how sick and cocky he is. I respect how he does so much work so he can enroll me to a prestigious school, though. He's still my dad, after all.

The [Deranged] Writer said...

*you hate your dad pala yun. Sorry for that. Hehe.

Jmar said...

Ganyan din ang tatay ko, ayaw magpatalo pag may kaargumento sya. Hehe.

-

Btw, i have a new blog --> jmar.asteeg.net

jiMboy said...

sorry guys! Just got home from some spiritual camp. Thanks guys for those comments. By the way.. I'll clear things out. Siguru dumadaan tayu sa stage wherein nararanasan natin ito ngunit sa kabilang banda hindi puro pahirap at pasakit ang ginagawa nila. Hindi naman puro dull moments kami ni erpat. Masaya din at kengkoy din yun kagaya ko. At close kami kahit paano. Iyun nga lang.

"Kasama sa Paglaki" =D

salamat sa comment nyo =D

ifoundme said...

nakuuu! i thought i posted my comment in here na days back. hindi pala pumasok. anyway, at least you chose to be positive when it comes to YOUR life. hirap kasi when we get enslaved by our emotions in response to what an outside factor can do to you. syempre di ba? yung iba magrerebelde na lang yan. dyan ako saludo sayo. there are two roads to take kasi when you are being scolded for something you have done or not done. one is to rebel, and the other is to make things right in a peaceful way.

that's part of growing up. yung iba mas malala pa ang dinaanan. ano ba naman yung palampasin mo na lang ang mga sinasabi ng dad mo, di ba? he loves you anyway. tsaka kaya ganyan yan kasi you are a guy. a lot is expected from a guy. eh kung sa mga ganung bagay pa lang titiklop ka na, how will you be with bigger responsibilities?

UtakMunggo said...

jimboooy, haha welcome to life.
ganun na nga siguro ang generic pinoy tatay, sapagkat bilibid or not, ang tatay ko ay katulad ng sa iyo.

nagiisa lang ako, so diba dapat nga laki sa layaw? ang kaso mo lang hindi, dahil como mag isa lang ako, sa kin lahat binuhos lahat ng emote emote nila sa buhay.

hay naku, in the end it's what makes you a stronger, better person. huwag kang malungkot, alam mo ba nakukonsiyensya rin ang mga magulang sa tuwing napapagalitan nila ang kanilang mga anak?

you cannot appreciate the good things without the bad. arangkada ka lang.. at huwag mong sayangin ang iyong oras sa pagmukmok.

:)

deejaye eleven said...

naku hahaha. ok lang yan. bait mo namang anak :)

jiMboy said...

@ifoundme:
@utakmunggo:
@deejay:

Ayun nga! salamat sa comments. Kumbaga, No great warrior triumph without carrying a wound. =D lalim!! wahahahha salamat ulit!

Erika said...

update, update! :P

jiMboy said...

nakakatuwa naman ate erika at may tao pala na naghihintay ng post ko. Sobrang busy lang talaga pero maya maya lang hopefully saniban ako ng blog fairy para sipagin aku sumulat. salamat ate erika. =D

Trishie said...

I can relate kasi I'm also ALWAYS scolded. Sad thing is that, being the eldest, I get all the blame for my little brother and little sister's wrong doing, even the maid's wrong doings. And somehow, nasanay na rin ako just like you.

Though at times mahirap kasi you can't stand up for your right because it's still wrong to talk back to your folks. pero kahit naman sa mahinahon na pag-eexplain lang, wala parin, magagalit parin ang dad ko. oh well. :)

P.S:
Thanks for dropping by my site.
link ex? =)

duke said...

we grow up and eventually realize that the fathers we put on pedestals are only human. we used to say yes to everything they said, thinking they were always right, and that they knew everthing.

And then we grow up. We see how things really are, and not agree to everything they do.

And they grow old. We see them get weaker. But they still have their strong opinions, and they want to prove that they still have their clout over us.

And we should make them feel that they still influence us. I guess it is just fitting to give them that source of pride.

Dada said...

*sniffs* nakakaiyak naman..but you have to know that your dad loves you more than you'll ever know (kanta yun ah,hehe) kidding aside, siguro kasi he sees you as a responsible young man kaya favorite ka nya utusan.And he knows na ikaw lang maaasahan nya. Be flatteres. I dont know. Basta isipin mo na lang mahal ka nun. :D

Palitan mo na pala link ko.. Eto na bago kong weblog.:D

Anonymous said...

This is my first visit here, but I will be back soon, because I really like the way you are writing, it is so simple and honest