reflection

Last night, going home from my head-aching work, The usual thing, (from the MRT) I rode the FX from North Ave, to Novaliches-Bayan. There I sat in the middle seat in the extreme right where you most get annoyed by unloading passengers(fortunately were in the same unloading place). Rush hour it was. People are tired, pale, rushing home to take their rest is all in everyone's mind. In my left is a girl. She wears white, with her bag, and holds a black jacket maybe to keep her warm in the air-conditioned office. The FX was easily filled by people and we set off immediately. And then I feel her head leaning on my shoulders. Little by little I can feel the weight of her head in me. Because of exhaustion, she easily fells asleep and unconscious.

As the driver brakes, her head slips from my shoulders gaining her consciousness but only for a little while and gets back to sleeping state. At first, I look at it as somehow disturbing knowing that we don't have an idea about each other. But then, what if I'm in her position?? I also did that sometimes when I'm all used up and I can't help but fell unconscious at public places. So I give her my shoulders for her to feel a little comfort. Thinking that simple thing wouldn't hurt but would help. I suffered from a hard cough and I don't want to wake her because of that. Even breathing limits me from moving. I know that she's half-conscious(one-fourth i guess =D) that she knows she's leaning on me. All through out the travel I've seen a pretty girl's wackiest side. Turning her head as if she was possessed, head-banging because of the driver's unawared brake attempts, poise is somewhere far from that certain situation. At first, she only leans her head at me, but as we travel far, her head leans facing me shoulder. She could wet my shirt if she's wet dreaming or something. Me too was totally used-up of work and I worry if I still did smell nice but she's not reacting then maybe I'm not. I've seen her every movement peripherally but not directly since it was dark and looking at her face directly was I think not an appropriate manner. But that doesn't a problem because I got a solution to that since I'm doing that often. My mobile phone, when keypad-locked turns off the lights as if it was a dark mirror. So a little angle would see her face without others idea. She's angelic and cute, but age is predictable. She's around 25-26 years of age(the way she dresses) which lessen my admiration(tanda na nya! haha). It is now time to depart ways. I was the one who gets out the FX and that was the only time she's truly awaken. Knowing she might stumble because of a quick response to her consciousness, I looked after her and she gains her balance and immediately leaves.

Disappointed I was, she walks the route I was into. So I was walking behind her but not intended. There I was expecting a little appreciation. Even an eye-contact could tell me her regards. But as as she walks into a commercial place, light strikes her face and her whole being leaving me so disappointed and I said to myself: "pambihirang buhay ar'e u'oh!"

In my head, I saw Jay Contreras as if he was my little angel conscience singing "ChicksiloOoOoOog... babaeng may itlog!!"

pig-tails

Goodbye fluffy thick hair! This is how I do look like right now. I cut my hair. This is the 3rd time in my 19 years of living to cut my hair this short. Every semi-bald haircut has it's own story and to share things out, here it goes..

The first time I cut my hair like this is in my elementary days, grade5 to be exact, where I suggested within my classmates to have the same haircut as mine(because I think it would be cool, and later, other schoolmates did the same). Second is I think last year. Out of curiosity and a seek for change and uniqueness, I dye my hair yellow. I was like Ely Buendia of the "pupils" with my hair in my lower back of my head yellow. It lasted for I think 2 or 3 days and after that, comments and critics of mine scattered. For those friends who has an adventurous thinking and personality, they say "ayos yan pre! astig!". Yes! I know it would be because that's how I want it to be. But for those not so young people, church goers, and my dad, "Anu ba yang ginawa mo sa sarili mo? Alam mu ba kung anu sinasabi ng mga tao jan sa buhok mo? nakakhiya!" leaving me no choice, I did the semi-kalbo! Ho ho ho! and the third time is about couple of days passed.

All those stories have one thing in common an that is I ended up being scolded by my dad. My Dad and my Mom(now that she's here with us from abroad), strongly disagree with me, doing such thing dyeing or cutting my hair a quarter of an inch. For them, having that hair is an invitation towards trouble, an uncivilized look, a foolish looking person, blah blah blah! Having my hair before is seemed good. I can look formal, casual, rugged nasty boy, a boy who doesn't took bath, and the craziest I can. The thing that made me do this hairstyle again is because one day I took a bath and found a scissor in the bathroom mirror. Well.. unlike other men, I don't really care much for my hair so having the scissors, with no hesitations, I tried to cut some hair. At the sides, at the back and anywhere I feel like cutting hoping I'll came up with a look that is something new!

Being a son of a pastor or a church worker includes a user manual on how things should be done. A responsibility which you have no choice but to follow. Every move we make, we should consider what would be its impact towards our parents, or what will others say against the family. I'm not much of a disobeyer and breaks rules often but I do things which I think soothes me and feeds my curiosity knowing that I don't stepped on others and would not disrespect anyone, and if there would be someone gets hurt, that would only be me.

Going back with the hair, I was fascinated by people who had sideburns(patilya). The hairline that connects from the sideburns to the mustache and the beard(where whiskers grow). I admire Fernando Poe Jr., Joseph Estrada, Hugh Jackman, Elvis Presley, and others for that reason. I always wanted that but no matter how I grow my sideburns, it stays at its hairline limit above the ears. I literally cut my own hair and that was one I thing I set goals for. But then, I failed again. With that, I ended up at the barber shop. I went in a local shop where those goon-like looking men who sticks cigarette time by time are the ones whose in charge of the haircut. I don't bother going at salons since I wanted a hair that can be done with an effort of a little. But again, seeking for uniquity and self-identity, I said to the barber, leave some hair at my lower back. Some kind of a pigtail. And there I have it. I have pig tails haha! but no hours passed my housekeeper disliked it. Being obedient to my housekeeper, again I cut it myself. =D

With a hair like this, I can only portray either a good, innocent person, or a rude one. I choose to be rude haha! and to add the rude look, I did some cut at my left eyebrow as if I got it from a fight. And here I am. It's fun playing with other people's reactions the way I act. It's makes me think that I am more intellectually dominant than them(which I think haha!) that I have more to show than of them.