Friday, May 16, 2008

scold-jah' boy

Joggling of thoughts that best soothes my present mind state, I play poker on my browser. It's been a long time since my last post and now is the perfect time to make a new one but my mind hardly gives me a thing to write. Until my dad called me.

Itay: "Nakita mu ba 'yung telepono?(wireless one)

jiMboy: "Wala po ba sa baba?" (I'm upstairs playing poker)
(I searched for it and found it at my sister's place)

jiMboy: "Pa, Eto po o."
(hand it to him.)

(The phone has no charge. And surely can't receive outgoing calls)

Itay: "Sa susunod pag ginamit nyo telepono ibaba nyo rin agad ha! Hindi nyo inaayos eh!"

jiMboy: ...

Yes. It is a summary of me in this family. I know myself of being naughty, pilyo, makulit, and all that are associated with those words, during my childhood. When I was a child, when I knew I did something wrong or unpleasant, I shook to nervousness that my dad will knew what I did. And as I could expect, I'm being scolded to death. The above situation, I took words from my dad that are not supposed to be all mine. I rarely use the phone. In twenty phone calls received, only one is mine. It is my sisters who used the phone more often. But then, no big deal. I got used to it.

Last night, I came home tired from work plus the heavy traffic and the ignored rain in my clothes. I enter our house. A little talk. My dad noticed the CPU of our desktop computer. In our house where it is usually placed, is a poor ventilated area so it ended up automatically turning off(maybe because of overheating). I did open the cpu cover so it could not store heat inside and an electric fan could keep it cool. Unfortunately, I misplaced the screws somewhere.

Itay: "Ba't ba ganyan 'yung CPU nyan?"

jiMboy: "Tinanggal ko po Pa eh, namamtay po kasi dahil umiinit."

Itay: "Tutukan mo lang ng elektrik fan yan!"

jiMboy: "Kahit may electric fan po namamatay pag nakasara eh"
(I, and my sisters use it. While he uses his laptop so I know it's problem!)

Itay: "Hindi! Tutukan mo lang ng electric fan yan!"
(He never let his pride fades and would never loose a conversation with only his son.)

jiMboy: ... (I'm tired and hungry from work. I am conversing while eating my dinner. And somehow Ignores what he is saying)

Itay: "Nasan na 'yung mga turnilyo?"

jiMboy: "Nasa taas ku lang po 'yun nilagay eh kaya lang d ku na po makita dun sa
pinaglagyan ko." (There it goes!)

Itay: "Binuksan-buksan nyo yan tapos ganyan lang gagawin nyo! Nag-loan pa ko sa HSBC para lang makuha yan. Hanggang ngayon binabayaran ko yan! Tapos binababoy nyo lang!"

Itay: (mumbles...)

jiMboy: ...

I grew up this way. I am the only boy among his three children. He scolds in general but the words are only for me. I know I'm not that perfect son. Not a consistent honor student in my elementary and high school days, unlike my siblings. I fail several units in my present college state. My eldest sister is now a certified public accountant and works at a highly reputed company. The younger is consistently studying.

Being the only male son, I was the favorite. Favorite in terms of chores, doing favors, going to a nearest store to buy something, would ask to wash the dishes, would do the family's laundry
(not joking!), go there, do that, and my great sisters sitting in comfity watching television. I did all things without a word because if not, I'll took a sermon and I'm sick of it. I remember sometimes he told me to buy 10 ventolin(painkillers of asthmatic people), I bought 10, and hand it him and he said "Bakit 10 lang?? di ba sabi ko 15?? Sa susunod iisipin ng mabuti 'yung ginagawa ha?" Shoot!! I never said a word. I know he's always right. He never loses a conversation with me. My dad just calling my name jiMboOoOoOh!! makes my heart pulsate fast thinking if I've done something wrong without my knowledge. If it is not about something I did, it is a favor, a cumpolsary favor I dare not to disobey.

I get used to it, I think it made me a patient, happy person. In school, I don't bother being scold by a professor. My dad trained me of that LOL. I don't take what they are trying to put in my mind and I guess that's the reason I failed a lot. In the saddest moments with my friends, I'm the one whose smiling. I don't want to see loneliness in people's faces so I do something to cheer those frowns. I choose sunny days than romantic nights. You can't see me cry but would always laugh and smile. Kaya siguru kumapal ang muka ko ng ganito. Wahahahhaha XD

I love my dad. He did everything just for us to become like this. There's no perfect dad but there's a perfect heart in them caring for us. I don't judge my dad since I know It was more of me than of him being the wrong. I am a black sheep of my family but then, I am being loved and cared. Actually, this coming school year, I was suppose to graduate. But I am so dedicated to studying(means: I enjoyed too much in life XD), I'll still study more than what it supposed to be. I'm working hopefully to fully support myself. It's hard showing up to my dad with what I've done. His financial responsibility to me was supposedly finish. But he's there still supporting me. Mother's day had just passed but I don't know. It is not supposed to be a father's appreciation entry. But here I go. panindigan ku na =D

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Trapped!

Been very tired from work. I got into a situation that I cannot escape. I'm only 19. A 3rd college-course taker and a bum for this past semester. Due to boredom of past sem without school, and as a normal teenager of this era, Internet and my computer inhabits me. Learning many things. And for that, I became a video editor(someone offered and I with a little knowledge, stupidly agree). Traveling from Novaliches to Sucat, Paranaque daily. It was a dumb decision to make. It's tiring. The work I'm doing is a professional matter which not qualifies me. But somehow I can comply with it. It's like an elementary student doing college algebra!

It really pissed me, my blogging time is only making comments for others and none for posting an entry. Grrr! Our Summer Camp is near!(it's still summer even though it rains) and I don't want to be left behind because of my responsibilities! Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!!!!! XD

Friday, May 9, 2008

reflection

Last night, going home from my head-aching work, The usual thing, (from the MRT) I rode the FX from North Ave, to Novaliches-Bayan. There I sat in the middle seat in the extreme right where you most get annoyed by unloading passengers(fortunately were in the same unloading place). Rush hour it was. People are tired, pale, rushing home to take their rest is all in everyone's mind. In my left is a girl. She wears white, with her bag, and holds a black jacket maybe to keep her warm in the air-conditioned office. The FX was easily filled by people and we set off immediately. And then I feel her head leaning on my shoulders. Little by little I can feel the weight of her head in me. Because of exhaustion, she easily fells asleep and unconscious.

As the driver brakes, her head slips from my shoulders gaining her consciousness but only for a little while and gets back to sleeping state. At first, I look at it as somehow disturbing knowing that we don't have an idea about each other. But then, what if I'm in her position?? I also did that sometimes when I'm all used up and I can't help but fell unconscious at public places. So I give her my shoulders for her to feel a little comfort. Thinking that simple thing wouldn't hurt but would help. I suffered from a hard cough and I don't want to wake her because of that. Even breathing limits me from moving. I know that she's half-conscious(one-fourth i guess =D) that she knows she's leaning on me. All through out the travel I've seen a pretty girl's wackiest side. Turning her head as if she was possessed, head-banging because of the driver's unawared brake attempts, poise is somewhere far from that certain situation. At first, she only leans her head at me, but as we travel far, her head leans facing me shoulder. She could wet my shirt if she's wet dreaming or something. Me too was totally used-up of work and I worry if I still did smell nice but she's not reacting then maybe I'm not. I've seen her every movement peripherally but not directly since it was dark and looking at her face directly was I think not an appropriate manner. But that doesn't a problem because I got a solution to that since I'm doing that often. My mobile phone, when keypad-locked turns off the lights as if it was a dark mirror. So a little angle would see her face without others idea. She's angelic and cute, but age is predictable. She's around 25-26 years of age(the way she dresses) which lessen my admiration(tanda na nya! haha). It is now time to depart ways. I was the one who gets out the FX and that was the only time she's truly awaken. Knowing she might stumble because of a quick response to her consciousness, I looked after her and she gains her balance and immediately leaves.

Disappointed I was, she walks the route I was into. So I was walking behind her but not intended. There I was expecting a little appreciation. Even an eye-contact could tell me her regards. But as as she walks into a commercial place, light strikes her face and her whole being leaving me so disappointed and I said to myself: "pambihirang buhay ar'e u'oh!"

In my head, I saw Jay Contreras as if he was my little angel conscience singing "ChicksiloOoOoOog... babaeng may itlog!!"

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

blek!

I'm struggling on what layout should I use. Kind of annoying. Before it was a plain black default blogger layout but people thinks of it as an emo-authored work(which is quite not). I wonder why color black triggers sad emotions, death, fear, evil, or any negative things in the minds of many. But black also denotes strength, power, mystery, prestige, elegance, and authority.

"I use black, black is good! ... my name is WEYN!"

as being said in a shampoo advertisement.

Changing my layout, I thought of things that suits my immature personality. Like being a cartoon freak! My all time favorite was the classic tome&jerry. So I searched for pictures of them and even searched for layouts. I laze searching for it so I think I'll portray the manly side of me. Talking about manly, poker comes first in my mind haha!(immature still!) I'm a poker freak(who stays up all night playing poker at browsers) who enjoys playing poker at it's fullest hahaha! Grabbing some playing card pictures, It is now a white(second favorite color next to black) poker theme blog. But my mind changes like a craving pregnant mom. And yup! I've changed it again and again.. I ended up restoring my old template which is black. But I added a picture of patrick star because I always see myself on his shoe(and a little color i guess!). Well.. I don't mind others calling it emo. Because truly this is not. Nothing against those people but honestly, I myself is bored reading emotional griefs or "the-world-hate-me" articles. But there are those creative bloggers who can deliver it the interesting way. So there.. I ended up being immature haha! but who cares?? this is what I am! XD Nothing more to say.

Sunday, May 4, 2008

pig-tails

Goodbye fluffy thick hair! This is how I do look like right now. I cut my hair. This is the 3rd time in my 19 years of living to cut my hair this short. Every semi-bald haircut has it's own story and to share things out, here it goes..

The first time I cut my hair like this is in my elementary days, grade5 to be exact, where I suggested within my classmates to have the same haircut as mine(because I think it would be cool, and later, other schoolmates did the same). Second is I think last year. Out of curiosity and a seek for change and uniqueness, I dye my hair yellow. I was like Ely Buendia of the "pupils" with my hair in my lower back of my head yellow. It lasted for I think 2 or 3 days and after that, comments and critics of mine scattered. For those friends who has an adventurous thinking and personality, they say "ayos yan pre! astig!". Yes! I know it would be because that's how I want it to be. But for those not so young people, church goers, and my dad, "Anu ba yang ginawa mo sa sarili mo? Alam mu ba kung anu sinasabi ng mga tao jan sa buhok mo? nakakhiya!" leaving me no choice, I did the semi-kalbo! Ho ho ho! and the third time is about couple of days passed.

All those stories have one thing in common an that is I ended up being scolded by my dad. My Dad and my Mom(now that she's here with us from abroad), strongly disagree with me, doing such thing dyeing or cutting my hair a quarter of an inch. For them, having that hair is an invitation towards trouble, an uncivilized look, a foolish looking person, blah blah blah! Having my hair before is seemed good. I can look formal, casual, rugged nasty boy, a boy who doesn't took bath, and the craziest I can. The thing that made me do this hairstyle again is because one day I took a bath and found a scissor in the bathroom mirror. Well.. unlike other men, I don't really care much for my hair so having the scissors, with no hesitations, I tried to cut some hair. At the sides, at the back and anywhere I feel like cutting hoping I'll came up with a look that is something new!

Being a son of a pastor or a church worker includes a user manual on how things should be done. A responsibility which you have no choice but to follow. Every move we make, we should consider what would be its impact towards our parents, or what will others say against the family. I'm not much of a disobeyer and breaks rules often but I do things which I think soothes me and feeds my curiosity knowing that I don't stepped on others and would not disrespect anyone, and if there would be someone gets hurt, that would only be me.

Going back with the hair, I was fascinated by people who had sideburns(patilya). The hairline that connects from the sideburns to the mustache and the beard(where whiskers grow). I admire Fernando Poe Jr., Joseph Estrada, Hugh Jackman, Elvis Presley, and others for that reason. I always wanted that but no matter how I grow my sideburns, it stays at its hairline limit above the ears. I literally cut my own hair and that was one I thing I set goals for. But then, I failed again. With that, I ended up at the barber shop. I went in a local shop where those goon-like looking men who sticks cigarette time by time are the ones whose in charge of the haircut. I don't bother going at salons since I wanted a hair that can be done with an effort of a little. But again, seeking for uniquity and self-identity, I said to the barber, leave some hair at my lower back. Some kind of a pigtail. And there I have it. I have pig tails haha! but no hours passed my housekeeper disliked it. Being obedient to my housekeeper, again I cut it myself. =D

With a hair like this, I can only portray either a good, innocent person, or a rude one. I choose to be rude haha! and to add the rude look, I did some cut at my left eyebrow as if I got it from a fight. And here I am. It's fun playing with other people's reactions the way I act. It's makes me think that I am more intellectually dominant than them(which I think haha!) that I have more to show than of them.